asTWISTED byDave: February 2006
::: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 :::
Today is February 28, 2006. Today is Mardi gras. Today is Fastnacht Day. Today is Free Pancakes Day at IHOP. Today is day three of the Ayyam-i-Ha celebration. Today is Gilbert Gottfried's 51st birthday. And today is the very last day of the month. How can all of these days co-exist? Because today is the perfect day.
I found this out at Office Pirates [Link] They do everything I want to do... kind of.
They don't have my apathy and lethargy towards you people (my loyal audience) because I don't sell advertising! (F***ers won't buy any space....)
::: Monday, February 27, 2006 :::
Searches my site turned up on, and they clicked on my blog:
hooah bars sleep problems - what's the connection? sure, i occasionally have sleeping problems and I've linked to Hooah bars, buuuut... what is this surfer thinking?
asian gangsters - riiiight.... i don't know why my site turned up on this one.
video amputee woman -fetish - HAHAHAHAHA, someone looking for videos of amputee women, but doesn't want fetish sites.
medieval tightrope walking - okay... WHERE in my site do i have a tightrope?
IMAGE SEARCH: gates of hell - check! I got that one!
scarry flash puzzle - obviously someone looking for a flash puzzle, of which I have many.
Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 - I have that here! No! really! Check it out: [Google]
monkey washing a cat - yup, i got that!
More to come later!
My blogger code is: B8 d t- k+ s u- f i- o+ x e+ l c [Link] Get yours?
::: Saturday, February 25, 2006 :::
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
As a prep school graduation present my father the veterinarian gifted me a cat. But not just any cat: a half breed, a mix of a Sphinx (Mr. Bigglesworth of Austin Powers fame) and a long hair.
Only....
The cat is literally half and half. He has a lion's mane one his chest and that's it. And his naked skin is a vile yellow-grey colour. His eyes are the hue of dialysis piss. He doesn't meow, only makes a croaking sound like an old woman's last breath. He smells like sweat and shit and the things he kills at night.
His name is Ugly. And I love him.
::: Friday, February 24, 2006 :::
I thought I was in data entry hell until I repositioned my chair so I can lean back and have more elbow room and used a box of printer paper as an ottoman. Now I hope this never ends!
Also, I should be at it all afternoon and a good part of Monday too.
New question down at my Question&Answers.
- GEEK: How to use your iPod to move your music to a new computer [Link] Let's face it, if you can FILL your iPod, you're a certified geek.
- How to Teach Your Cat to Give a Handshake [Link] Yup.
- 30 Boxes [Link] Welcome. 30 Boxes was created for people looking for a robust yet simple social calendar that is easy to share with family and friends.
- Computer Stupidities By Topic [Link] A large collection of stories and anecdotes about clueless computer users. It's a baffling phenomenon that in today's society an individual, who might in other circumstances be considered smart and wise, can sit down in front of a computer screen and instantly lose every last shred of common sense he ever possessed.
- VIDEO: R Rated 80s Band [Link] WARNING: BAAAD language! DO NOT play around kids, your boss or anyone uptight! It is still a very catchy tune.
- VIDEO: Sonic the Hedgehog Piano [Link] I never played Sonic all that much, but this is still pretty cool.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Rammstein - Dalai Lama
What was the last thing my TV did? I watched a little bit of The Weatherman, but the biggest news is I FINALLY KNOW WHO SHOT J.R.!!! That's right, I have Dallas Season 4, Disc 1 rented and
How am I feeling? Why? Still kinda sick, but otherwise alright.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Wintery, going to be a pretty good day.
Random Comments: My blogger code is: B8 d t- k+ s u- f i- o+ x e+ l c, get your own: [Link]
I will be updating the meme once a week, either on Thursdays or Fridays. Questions for Q&A will be added whenever I think of them.
::: Thursday, February 23, 2006 :::

How evil are you?
Linkfest: My answer above was no surprise at all...- GALLERY: Beautiful China [Link] The pictures get better the farther you scroll.
- VIDEO: 24 Seconds [Link] A spoof of 24 using Simpsons, Family Guy and Futurama clips.
- Extend Firefox Contest Finalists [Link] This is a contest held to award the best and brightest extension developers in the Firefox community. The contest asked entrants to create Firefox Extensions that are innovative, useful, and integrate with today's Web services.
- VIDEO: Rube Goldberg Machine [Link] I love these things.
- 11 steps to a better brain [Link] It doesn't matter how brainy you are or how much education you've had - you can still improve and expand your mind. Boosting your mental faculties doesn't have to mean studying hard or becoming a reclusive book worm. There are lots of tricks, techniques and habits, as well as changes to your lifestyle, diet and behaviour that can help you flex your grey matter and get the best out of your brain cells. And here are 11 of them.
- Dave Barry .Com [Link] My favourite columnist has his own website, check out what he's up to these days.
- VIDEOS: Flowline & Megalodon [Link] CG water and whales... WOW!
- Scream TV [Link] The channel website. Love it.
- The Art of Linkbaiting [Link] Ever found it hard to get other bloggers to link to a new blog? Sure you have, it's not easy sometimes. Even established blogs need to expand their traffic and influence on a regular basis, and linkbaiting is one way to do it.
- How to make Garfield funny....remove his thought balloons [Link] It's like reading new comic strips, hahah.
- Torrent sites [Link] Oh SNAP!
- Letterfu [Link] Letter-writing without envelopes, cutting or glue.
- JAVASCRIPT: Image Cross Fader [Link] There is also a link to updated code.
- GALLERY: Can you grow cress in a keyboard? [Link] Yes!
- SHELL EXTENSION CITY [Link] Geekstuff, I know. Screw you, this is MY blog.
- NEWS: Calculating Dogs [Link] It seems dogs know calculus.
- The End of Scratched CDs [Link] One of the most frustrating things about CDs and DVDs is that one bad scratch can render them worthless. Now a Denver startup called Scratch-Less Disc is marketing a version that can be clawed at, dropped--even smeared with peanut butter--and still play like new.
- FLASH: Blair Snail [Link] Kind of gross, but what the hey, here you go!
- General Carbuncle [Link] James R Ford is a multi-media artist currently based in London, England. For this project, initiated in 2003, he aims to transform a second-hand Ford Capri into the General Lee, from Dukes of Hazzard, by covering it in little toy cars in the appropriate colours (mainly red and orange).
- b3ta Image: durham uni shower policy [Link] EEEWWWWW!!!
- GALLERY: Flying Pig [Link] OMFG, they shot that pig out of a cannon!
- Technologist Manifesto..., or Things Everyone in IT Should Know [Link] The best business solution is not always the best technology solution. The burden is on you, the technologist, to make the best system the business will use. There are two basic types of processes in business: physical and logical. Physical requires the proximity of two or more objects which must interact; like someone to load a crate onto a barge. Logical means it can be done anywhere with an acceptable network connection. The only point of IT is to improve physical operations by providing efficiencies and reducing logical operations by providing automation.
- Top 10 Web Moments of 2005 [Link] Why not?
- Nong.com [Link] Create and share your own social web apps! This is a fine example of Web 2.0.
- textorizer [Link] Textorize a picture using text strings. The images can be jpeg, png, gif, or xpm file less than 128K in length.
While not completed, I have something resembling a website to show you.
I have another blog automatically included here at Twisted, a blog that gives you memes. I'll try and update that one consistently. Fridays maybe. I also have a Question & Answers area, just stuff for you to answer.
::: Wednesday, February 22, 2006 :::

No, I won't be doing a complete redesign of 'Twisted, but I'll be shuffling stuff around and adding to it. Doing an evaluation of the present state in the process. Possibly making 'Twisted into a magazine format, who knows... I'll be playing around with ideas.
Time has passed and new toys and ideas have surfaced. Particularly I want to plug in some Web 2.0 sexiness. I'll try and add some more content. Any suggestions? Tell me in comments or on my cbox (in "Tagged.")
I'll also be cleaning out some deadwood. I've gotten rid of my webring, the moon phase thing and broke links.
Chris.com's ASCII Art Collection [Link] EXAMPLE:
,ood8888booo,
,od8' `8bo,
,odP Ybo,
,d8' `8b,
,oP Yo,
,8 8,
8Y Y8
8l aba l8
Ya ,ad' 8 aY
Y8, aY8, ,P ,8Y
Y8o aP 8 o8Y
`Y8 ,aP' 8 8Y'
,arooowwwwwooo88P' d' aY'
,adP ,aa8P
aP a8a, d'
$ Y , , ,8
$ $, P a8888b daaa 8
$ $ Y aP 8 ad 8 8 8 `a
$ $ 8 8 d P d ,P `8 8
`$' d 8 `8 ba Y 8 `8 ba
8 ba 8a$ 8 ba `8a$
Yaa$ Yaa$
Brent Hughes
Christopher Johnson's ASCII Art Collection was revealed to the Internet in November of 1994, back when Netscape 1.0 was "soooo much better than Mosaic" and Internet Explorer didn't exist yet. Here we are 12 years later, and if my web-server traffic statistics are any indication, ASCII art is more popular now than it's ever been.
Linkfest- VIDEO: The Picard Song [Link] A Music Video of "The Picard Song" By Darkmateria.
- Royal Mail Group plc will not accept a letter that contains any of the following... [Link] That is a surprisingly unclear list.
- b3ta Image Challenge: If Dodgy Mechanics ran the World [Link] Hahahaha, scroll down to the shittle.
- Wikipedia: Tonic immobility [Link] Tonic Immobility is a natural state of paralysis that sharks enter when inverted.[1] The shark remains in this state of paralysis for an average of fifteen minutes before it recovers. Yeah, in addition to putting a rabbit to sleep, it also works with sharks. AND CHICKENS!!!
- b3ta: Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Pixelmash Experiment [Link] These people are extremely talented.
- b3ta: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom: The Pixelmash Experiment [Link] I've got more coming...
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: The Pixelmash Experiment [Link] Woohoo!
- b3ta Image: My shelf broke [Link] Hahahahahahahaha!!
- b3ta shameful: The God Simulator [Link] Heheh, don't flame ME, flame THEM.
- Funtime Sindy Doll [Link] Hilarious stories starring the Sindy doll collection.
- VIDEO: Polar bear scares girl wearing a seal hat. [Link] Its really funny when she crawlscreams.
- GALLERY: Model World [Link] It's often hard to convince people that Olivo Barbieri's aerial photographs are real. They look uncannily like hyperdetailed models, absent the imperfections of reality. Streets are strangely clean, trees look plastic, and odd distortions of scale create the opposite effect of what we expect from aerial photography--a complete overview, like military surveillance.
- The 'Safe Bedside Table' [Link] It is reported that 50% of people in London are worried about security and sleep with some form of self-defence to hand, for use against intruders. This table has a removable leg that acts as a club and a top that doubles as a shield for self-defence.
- Funny Company Name [Link] Check it out near the inner area of the page, lower and left. (Question, at the top right, it says "Enjoy Mumbai" and has a picture of a hot woman there... um.. nevermind.)
- SOFTWARE: µTorrent [Link] A very tiny bittorrent client. No install and fast to use.
- Silent PC Review [Link] Does your computer roar upon startup? Learn how to stop it. Silent PC Review is dedicated to reviews, news and information about quiet, low noise, noise-free and/or silent computers and components.
- Webmasters who didn't think when they registered their URL [Link] LOL @ #3
- SOFTWARE: Free Launch Bar [Link] Free Launch Bar is a Free replacement for the standard Quick Launch bar. All functions presented in Quick Launch are also in Free Launch Bar. However, the Free Launch Bar is fully compatible with Quick Launch because it uses the same folder for shortcuts. But there is one huge difference. Free Launch Bar allows you to combine your shortcuts into groups.
- Day after party :) [Link] Ownage and shamings on a mass scale.
- Mystical Ball.com [Link] It will read your mind!
- Google Alerts [Link] GoogleMonster grows another appendage.
- FLASH CARDS 2 [Link] This is a very cool Flash animation showing the progressive drawing of a woman. It starts with bone structure, erases that, then adds, flesh, erase, clothes, ect...
- Niagara Falls DAREDEVILS: a history [Link] Daredevils can be best summarized as persons who wish to take conscious risks with their lives with the emphasis on survival. However, some risks are so great that the chances of survival based upon a balance of probabilities become so little that they become suicidal in nature. It may be a thin line of definition but a line none the less. Now days, the art of being a daredevil has become so sophisticated that chances of survival are almost predictable.
- Zombie Alert - Home Protection [Link] OMGWTFLMFAO!!!!
- Capt. Godfrey Rodrigues' "Correct Posture, It's meaning and results" [Link] He looks like he's hiding a broomstick somewhere.
- How to Become As Rich As Bill Gates [Link] Dang.
- Transformational geometry and iteration in cornrow hairstyles [Link] There's also a history and how-to.
- Lee Roy The BoogerPicker [Link] LeeRoy doesn't pick boogers, he IS a booger who picks at his banjo. And he's good at it.
- HiddenPassageway.Com [Link] Creative Home Engineering is a contracting company that adds silent, automated, hidden passageways to homes. There is a button at the top right to stop the annoying music.
- FLASH: Nerd Gym - Increase your HP level in total secret [Link] Information pamphlet for the lonely existense of the fit nerd. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
- Mabel's Laudromat Personal Care [Link] Um... right.
- guimp.com - world's smallest website [Link] Aw, look at that little thing, and it does so much too.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Collective Soul - Forgiveness
What was the last thing my TV did? I watched Daltry Calhoun and Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God.
How am I feeling? Why? Sick, my ear isn't hurting this morning, but is still tender, I'm going to the clinic this morning to have it checked out before going to work.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Bright and moderately cold. It's going to be a pretty good day. I hope the doc doens't say I need lots of rest.
Random Comments: In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
::: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 :::

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Nothing right now, I'm enjoying the silence in my room.
What was the last thing my TV did? Played some Star Wars Battlefront 2 last night.
How am I feeling? Why? Like the cathedral, I'm under the weather. I've got a headcold or flu. My throat is sore and my ear has been aching. I went into work this morning for a team meeting, but came home after that was over.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Cloudy, pleasant if you're dressed warmly.
Random Comments: Personally, I think that people who say they wish they had their lives to live over again, probably shouldn't anyway.
Linkfest: Since when do I post links? Oh yeah, always.- FLASH: queenie83 [Link] It plays like a bad nightmare.
- MOVIE: Brokeback to the Future [Link] Remix of the Back to the Future trailer.
- VIDEO: Crazy Frog Spoof [Link] Hah, I love what he says at the end "What? You can make a million quid doing that? It's bollocks."
- IMAGE: Homer Simpson [Link] Originally done for an article in Esquire. It was about how many animation families are more realistic than most of the "real families" on television sit-coms.
- Falling Sand Game [Link] It's really addictive once you figure out what the particles and control are and how they react to each other.
- BreathCapture [Link] An apparatus for collecting human breath as a keepsake display.
- Song Search and Retrieval by Tapping [Link] This site lets you search for a song, by tapping the rhythm of its words (lyrics). Let's say you have a song stuck in your head, and you don't know the name of it. Never fear! Load up our search screen, and try tapping the rhythm of the song on your space bar while humming the tune. Tap the space bar for each syllable that you sing. It's that simple!
- Eric gets to be King for a day [Link] Gross, but filarious.
- b3ta Image Challenge: A World For Women [Link] What if everything was invented by, inspired by, made by or made for women?
- b3ta Image Challenge: Product Displacement [Link] What if products had been made by other companies? Imagine the chaos if all your favourite things were made by companies much better at doing something else entirely. What a mess it would be.
- Putting Bunnies in a Trance [Link] Sure, I linked to this last year, but here it is again!
- A complete set of the 1968-1974 Alcoholics Anonymous comic strips [Link] Try giving it a read, the look of that guy who said he was in a mental institution looks strangely calm for being at an AA meeting...
- The Brian Pepper Song [Link] That is just... twisted.
- Barbican Film Quiz: Are you nuts about film? [Link] I guessed all the scene correctly.
- VIDEO: Tea of the Ninja [Link] You have to be one badass ninja to get a other ninja to get you a cup of tea.
- GROSS: A nice cup of tea [Link] *gag*
- ScanJet Music [Link] Music on a scanner, that has to be the coolest (or only) easter egg for a scanner! It plays fur elise by Beethoven.
I hope I feel better tommorrow.
AAH! Little people! Oh.. it's just kids.
- Spider-Man Reviews Crayons (1/3) [Link] He uses his spidey artist sense to review the colours.
- VIDEO: Water balloon bust in zero gravity [Link] I wonder how that sounded... and WHERE did the balloon parts go?
- Time Lapse Road Movies [Link] These are pretty cool to watch. It's many videos from a camera set up in the front seat of a vehicle.
- FLASH: Lunch Goddess [Link] Are you tired of wasting half of your lunch hour debating over where you'll be going for lunch? Are people constantly upset because they didn't like where everyone else wanted to go? Are you caught in the rut of the same old place every day? Well, that's why we invented the Lunch Goddess. There is no longer any debate over where we go for lunch because the Lunch Goddess knows best...and we listen!
- Romance Novel Cover Generator [Link] Damn, I lost the picture of me in a pirate shirt, wearing a pirate hat, long moustache and my sword pointed in the distance and some woman I met in the background, wearing a silk, near see-through dress, beckoning me in a wanton way. SO, NO EXAMPLE FOR YOU!!!
- Antimicrobial Comfort Touch Toilet Seat [Link] This is one of those "you have to see it to believe it" products: a heated toilet seat.
- MUSHROOM STOCK PHOTO CATALOG [Link] Shrooooooommmsss!!!
- The Slanket [Link] Dang, this is a good idea. But it still looks like a burlap dress to me.
- The BlueSfear Worm - the longest page on the Internet [Link] This is a digital art worm created by the artists here at Blue Sfear with the goal of creating the largest graphics worm on the internet.
- FLASH: When Genevieve Ruled The World [Link] Creepy little movie about a girl who got absolutely everything she wanted.
- Email etiquette [Link] Apparently, me answering emails by blocking them isn't very nice.
- Thumbthing [Link] How it works. Simply put the Thumbthing onto your thumb and place into the spine of the book. The two wings will hold the pages open more easily, making reading more comfortable. It allows you to read with one hand only. It prevents the spine of the book from being broken. When finished reading place the Thumbthing into the top of the book so it doesn’t get lost.
- High Speed Bullet Pictures [Link] That is COOL! I may steal one of these pictures and make it into a background for my homepage.
- Larvets Insect Candy [Link] *gag*
- Al Quaeda training camp for ninja cats... [Link] Hi-YAAAH!!!
- Vulcan Sock Monkey [Link] A website that sells sock puppets, but I figure Spock is a good example.
- A cross stich pattern for you to make your own portrait of Rod Stewart [Link] Look at the tags on the right "evil" is on there HAHAHA!!!
- The Lego Suicides [Link] Oy!
- A Letter to Skeletor [Link] Funny.
- Doggy Steps [Link] Is your dog a little chump that can't jump onto even the couch? Get his short, fat or old ass some steps.
- IMAGE: Why Men Should Not Babysit [Link] The kid tries to escape, but the dog doesn't let him.
- FLASH: Pie Hole [Link] Interesting song about his pie hole.
Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
There's this secluded spot in Philly, near a sanitation plant, where a bunch of angry midgets built a colony of little shacks they live in so as to avoid us Normals.
It's all surrounded by cyclone fence and sheetmetal, with a main gate that has a doorbell placed suspiciously high.
If they catch you out there, they'll start to throw rocks and chunks of cement and just generally attempt to kill you.
::: Monday, February 20, 2006 :::
With nothing prepared, I give you this:
__________66669_______________6666___________
__________9666666____________66666___________
___________66666666_________666666___________
____________66666666_______6666666___________
_____________666666669_____6666669___________
______________666666666___9666666____________
________________66666666__6666669____________
__________________9666666_966666_____________
______________________966666666______________
__________________66666666666________________
________________666666666666666_____asTWISTED
______________6666__66666666666________byDave
______________666666666666666666_____________
_____________6666666666666666666_____________ "I may have OCD,
______________666666666666666669_____________ I can count on that!"
_______________6666666666666666______________
__________________9666666666666______________
___________________6666966669________________
::: Saturday, February 18, 2006 :::
Person #1: Look! An idiot!
Person #2: Where?- STUPID VINTAGE INFLATABLE HAT [Link] This piece of apparel is so utterly dumb, we could not convince a human being to model it. We even had trouble persuading the poodle to play along. To get her to pose, we lied and told her she was auditioning to replace the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
- GALLERY: Wallpapers inspired by SpongeBob SquarePants and Iron Maiden's Eddie characters. [Link] This is just too cool not to take one.
- Dance Floor Moves [Link] It is a colorful, projected, interactive floor that can be installed anywhere. When a person moves over the floor, it reacts.
- LIST: 100 creepy sites @ Cyberphobia [Link] PhobiaGuide.com lists "cyberphobia" as a fear of computers or working on a computer. Today, if you have an internet connection, this may not be an irrational fear. As the web expands, so does the amount of disturbing content.
- How Star Wars would be different if it were Anime... [Link] *The sound of the Force would have been "DONNNNG!" (a la Akira) instead of "WhwhWhwhWhwhWhwho..." LMFAO!!!
- Band name origins [Link] OUR LADY PEACE - The band took their unusual name from a 1943 poem by American poet Mark Van Doren. Much more when you click on the link.
- WWW-Funny T-Shirts-BIZ [Link] Hahahah@Got milf?
- A World of Help [Link] Help, answers and the world's highest rated links.
- "Firefoxit" Widgets 1 [Link] You'll need the extension "FireFoxit" It's pretty useless right now, but when people start programming for it, it will be great.
- "Firefoxit" Widgets 2 [Link] More of the same.
- Barend.Nu's Easy Homepage Creator (WITH FLASH!!!) [Link] Get a Flash homepage in just a few minutes. I think I'll use this whenever I make a version 4.0 of asTwisted byDave.
- Celebrities Playing Table Tennis [Link] Just an image gallery. Clint Eastwood sure looks... silly.
- Linky & Dinky's Top 248 Ways to Annoy People! [Link] 1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go." 148. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R.
- Top Ten Videos of 2005 From National Geographic News [Link] I was going to delete all my best-of-2005 links, but this is too good for scrapping.
- Small Biz 101: Tips for Increasing Sales [Link] Good advice if you've quit (or been fired) from your 9 to 5.
- LIFEHACKER: guide to weblog comments [Link] I think this is my new favourite website.
- VIDEO: Supermodel Meat Sport [Link] Hamburgers, potato salad. Food. And models. Yums.
- JimsTips' GmailTips.com [Link] Just in case you want to read about the service.
- FLASH: Beer Song [Link] Nice vocals.
- Lyrics to the Beer Song [Link] Yeah, I want sing this out loud at the bar one night.
- SOMETHING AWFUL FORUM: Tips and Tricks You've Picked Up Along the Way...Part 4! [Link] Usually SomethingAwful is something awful, but sometimes it's something useful.
- iPod Gym [Link] 80 different exercises available for download to your video iPod.
- IMAGE: Sleeping couples [Link] Silly.
- THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (OF THE ETHICAL ATHEIST) [Link] Growing up in a home learning lessons from two religions left me agnostic, so I'm not really sure I need this or not. Maybe you could use it.
- Norm Quotes from "Cheers" [Link] SAM: "Beer, Norm?" NORM: "Have I gotten that predictable? Good."
- 2006 Sick Day Calendar [Link] Made for USA, but one peek at a calendar and you can plan your Canadian holidays in a quick two minutes.
- Portable Apps.com [Link] Having a jumpdrive roolz.
- FileSwap [Link] Send a file, get one back. I had fun with this, then I realised this was as close to unprotected online sex as I had ever come (haha! get it?) and then double-checked my on-access virus scanner to see if it was activated. Whew! I'm safe.
- The 29 Healthiest Foods on the Planet [Link] The following is a "healthy food hot list" consisting of the 29 food that will give you the biggest nutritional bang for you caloric buck, as well as decrease your risk for deadly illnesses like cancer, diabetes and heart disease. Along with each description is a suggestion as to how to incorporate these power-foods into your diet.
- NVU [Link] A complete Web Authoring System for Linux Desktop users as well as Microsoft Windows and Macintosh users to rival programs like FrontPage and Dreamweaver. Nvu (pronounced N-view, for a "new view") makes managing a web site a snap. Now anyone can create web pages and manage a website with no technical expertise or knowledge of HTML. I use the portable version in my jumpdrive.
- no-install.com [Link] no-install.com is the one and only portal for portability. Here you will find software applications like Firefox Webbrowser, Thunderbird Email, Trillian instant messenger, Abiword word processor and many more that you can run from just about any removable media such as USB, CD-ROM, Compact Flash, Memory Stick, etc with little to no installation required.
- Portable Winamp 5.1 with iPod Support [Link] Yeehaa! I know a few people that will love this link.
- Zoom Player [Link] DVD player for your computer.
- XMPlay 3.1 [Link] XMPlay is a Windows music player, supporting the OGG / MP3 / MP2 / MP1 / WMA / WAV / MO3 / IT / XM / S3M / MTM / MOD / UMX audio formats, and PLS / M3U / ASX playlists. A load more formats are also supported via Winamp plugins. Many nice features, like streaming from FTP / HTTP / Shoutcast / Icecast servers, skins, disk writing.
- The Creative Thinker. [Link] If you are looking for new perspectives, wish to develop your imagination, make better decisions and take more effective action then welcome to the world of The Creative Thinker. This inspirational, new software brings you non-linear, yet structured, thinking with the ability to further develop your thoughts in the form of user-friendly and fun to use graphical Hexagon Modelling. You can even organise your knowledge, supplement ideas with notes and directly and meaningfully link ideas to the Internet, documents, slide presentations, spreadsheets and more.
- Directory of MindMapping Software [Link] Know thyself! Map your mind!
- Directory Of Programs Designed For USB Drives [Link] Old, but useful. For flash drives.
- Damn Small Linux [Link] DSL is a very versatile 50MB mini desktop oriented Linux distribution. That's right, OS on a CD or a thumbdrive.
- eBook 2u [Link] Ebook Directory, Software, News and Other Ebook Resources. So you can finally give me an answer when I ask "read any good books lately?"
- Mythbusters "Lost" Experiments [Link] Videos of the experiments Mythbusters didn't include on their TV show.
- LIFEHACKER: Getting To Done: Down With Piles! [Link] Are you a piler? You know, someone who has piles of stuff all around your home and office? Do you live, or work, with a piler? If you said yes and are looking to eliminate piles of paper, books, clothes, etc. from your home or office, this post’s for you.
- Tip For Lowering Your Credit Card Interest Rate [Link] That reminds me.... I have to move my balances soon.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? [Link] Various people answer the infamous question.
- The Book Bar [Link] *WHY* didn't I think of that first?
- JOKES: Yo Mamma Is So Fat... [Link] Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
- Car Stuck .Com - where cars get stuck and you can watch [Link] This is the gathering place for people who like to see cars get helplessly stuck, bogged, mired or trapped in gooey mud, thick muck, slippery clay, deep snow, soft sand, or slick ice.
- The Greatest C64 Games of All Times [Link] Not just a list, but playable directly in your browser!
- GALLERY: Camp Dodge WWI [Link] Amazing pictures of hundreds (thousands! even...) of people placed strategically to compose a larger image.
- Overheard in New York [Link] Tween girl #1: Aren't you gonna wash your hands? Tween girl #2: I don't need to. I flush with my foot Tween girl #1: Do you also wipe with your foot?
- Mail Big File.Com [Link] Send big files quickly and easily, without clogging up your email!
- VIDEO: Barking Kitty [Link] Mew, mew, mew, mew, meeeeeeooooooo.
- Freakish Zombie in 11 Steps! [Link] Make yourself (or someone you know) into a zombie in photoshop/gimp/whatever.
- Monopoly Cards We'd Like To See [Link] HAHAHAH! Community Chest: Done giving a rat's ass, blow life savings on hookers.
- VIDEO: Ride Those Tiny Horses [Link] Funny DSL ad.
- VIDEO: Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock [Link] Like many of you, I've grown up hearing about Jimi Hendrix and, and hearing his music. I've never seen a quality video of him performing though, until now. Here's his legendary performance of the Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock.
- FLASH: SpaceWander Roundtrip First Class [Link] Informational joyride from launch to Mars.
- How to be creative [Link] Helpful article.
- GALLERY: Painted Room Illusions [Link] Rooms painted so that if you stand in just the right place a hidden pattern emerges.
- ASME's TOP 40 MAGAZINE COVERS OF THE PAST 40 YEARS [Link] I'm not so sure the Dixie Chicks (remember them?) should be on this list. They're not even showing nipple-flesh.
- Pictures of Walls [Link] A gallery of walls with stuff written on them.
- GALLERY: How to really confuse your party guests. [Link] A normal room? I think not.
- GALLERY: The F.P.E.S. 0.0 - 1.1.0 [Link] Constructing a cat helmet.
- IP Spotting [Link] How interesting is your IP address?
- fastr - a flickr game [Link] Fastr is a game that uses flickr images. It loads ten images that all share a common tag, one by one, and you guess what the tag is. When you guess right, the tag will turn blue. Then you can watch the pictures until the next set begins. The faster you guess, the more points you get.
- SuitSat [Link] Using a simple police scanner or ham radio, you can listen to a disembodied spacesuit circling Earth.
- Museum Of Hoaxes [Link] This is pretty cool to look around and read.
- Planet Perplex [Link] Planet Perplex is a comprehensive collection of optical illusions, impossible objects, hidden images, puzzles and related images.
- Free Online Graph Paper / Grid Paper PDFs [Link] Like no one figured this out years before. I used to use Works For Windows in the 90's to make graph paper.
- Mr. Wong's Soup Apartments [Link] Although the project is terminated, you can still check out all the apartments here. They're user-submitted pixelart, which have accompanying links to the artists' homepages or websites.
- Top 10 Most Peculiar Places in the World [Link] Yeah, I searched "peculiar" and got stuff like this.
- The Wiki History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less [Link] Dang.
- A Three-Year-Old Chinese Boy [Link] Sonuva...
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Korn - Souvenir
What was the last thing my TV did? Not much, but I'm planning on watching Saw II tonight.
How am I feeling? Why? Cold and I have an earache =(
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." 20-something below in the wind. Clouds overhead. It's nice to look at from the inside with a cup of hot tea cradled in my hands.
Random Comments: A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
::: Friday, February 17, 2006 :::
Russian Roulette [Link] Play the infamous game against a russian bear, a snowman and a moustached russian military general.
Do you have what it takes to survive all three opponents? I think NYET!
Comments: It's pretty funny how the snowman bleeds red. I'm pretty sure no one has survived the russian general.
What's playing? Korn - Dead Bodies Everywhere
What was the last thing my TV did? Last night I watched Mirrormask. I found the movie to be extremely and epically entertaining, both visually and emotionally.
How am I feeling? Why? Doing alright, I had a nice rest.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." DAMN COLD! COLDER THAN THE PAST TWO DAYS! SAVE ME! < whine > I don't wanna to go work.... < /whine >
Random Comments: Trust me, when humans were created, I believe there was a very good reason why the body was configured so that ya cannot pat yourself on the back.
SYNOPSIS: Mirrormask
Reminiscent of ALICE IN WONDERLAND and LABRYNTH, MIRRORMASK is a fantasy tale of an intelligent young girl on a journey through a magical world. It is also a visually astounding piece of filmmaking, updating the fairy-tale quest in a coming-of-age story imbued with dark beauty. Written by Neil Gaiman (SANDMAN) and directed by frequent collaborator and illustrator Dave McKean, the film mixes live action and animation, and manages to keep the graphic novelists’ aesthetic largely intact: the frames are full of weirdly-skewed perspectives, foggy patches, and mismatched textures that appear grandly decayed.
Stephanie Leonidas plays Helena, a young girl who juggles in her father’s circus, but longs for a "normal" life. She spends her free time drawing elaborate, fantastical black-and-white pictures which cover every surface of her bedroom. One night, after an argument with her mother (Gina McKee) during which Helena lets fly some rather painful pronouncements, Mom falls ill with an unspecified affliction. As the family waits for news and the circus struggles financially, Helena blames herself for the misfortune. The night before her mother’s surgery, Helena is mysteriously transported to a world which bears a strong resemblance to her own drawings, and is populated by strange creatures who follow an even stranger logic. Helena and her traveling companion, fellow juggler Valentine (Jason Barry), sign on to find a mysterious charm which will wake the queen of the city--also played by McKee--from her deep sleep, defeating the forces of darkness and returning Helena home. The film’s outstanding art direction is complemented by witty dialogue and some genuinely creepy moments (the words "don’t let them see you’re afraid" are chill-inducing). Meanwhile, Leonidas’s performance is remarkable, maintaining a likeability, charm, and freshness that is all the more amazing considering it was delivered against a green screen, with her special-effect co-stars edited in later.
(source: Rotten Tomatoes @ http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/mirrormask/about.php)
Helena, in her room. See all her drawings on her wall?

Helena & Valentine, when they were talking to each other on the bridge.

Helena & Valentine, when they were in the Dark Queen's castle.

Images copyright by their owner(s).
Linkfest- NEWS: Unusual stuffed horse on eBay [Link] Here's an eBay auction for an odd-looking stuffed horse. Why did the taxidermist position it like this?
- The Euphoria Tape [Link] Do The Euphoria Tape alone the first time, and then
with a lover. It's a phenomenon you'll feel within the first 3 minutes of use -- what you'll feel the rest of the time is unbelievable. - Famous Self-Injurers [Link] Many famous stars have come out with their stories of self-injury, some have recovered, some have not. Even though they are scrutinized by the media, they have had the courage to reveal their struggles.
- "Alive" Chimpanzee [Link] Amazing "Alive" Chimpanzee is a fully animated, life-size bust of the real animal. It can see, hear and feel in ways that allow him to interact intelligently with you, your family, your guests...and with baffled strangers.
- VIDEO: What Old People Do For Fun... [Link] Damn, that's funny!
- Road Rage Cards [Link] You can flip through the book, find a card and show it to the victim of your choice. They also have a mirror image on the next card so they can read it in the rear-view.
- Resonata - A Wave Machine [Link] This is a spring system, designed to demonstrate many of the universal features of waves. Have a play around!
- The Foot Trick [Link] I dunno... my foot made a large "D" shape, and not switched directions.
- Reality Bytes: Eight Myths About Video Games Debunked [Link] Lists are fun.
- The 15 Best Sequels in Movie History [Link] Very Fun.
- Flavor Spray Diet [Link] The David Burke Flavor Sprays contain zero calories, zero fat, zero cholesterol, zero carbohydrates and FDA-approved flavoring. Whether you are on a low carb, no carb, low fat, no fat, no sugar, point system, or counting calorie diet, the Flavor Spray is right for you!
- eRideShare.com [Link] It's a FREE service for connecting commuters, or travelers going the same way. We hope that you'll find this service a good way to commute or travel inexpensively, and maybe even make a few friends.
- Worth 1000 Contest: Zip it [Link] Goal: Put zippers everywhere.
- Slut-o-Meter [Link] This evaluates the promiscuity of the subject you enter by comparing the number of Google search results with and without "safe-search" enabled. A complete slut would return unsafe results and no safe results. Alternatively, a clean name should produce the same number of safe and unsafe results. I got 4.48% and a popularity of 1
- IMAGE: Rabbit [Link] Aaaawwwww, soooo cuuuuuuuute!!!
- The 46 Best-ever Freeware Utilities [Link] I got this from an e-mail list I subscribe to.
- 36 Additional Freebies [Link] More of the best.
- FIREFOX EXTENSION: Scrapbook [Link] I use this quite a bit. It's nice to have when e-mailing webpage stuff to other people. I don't have to email a link or the whole page.
- VIDEO: Dog gets owned [Link] *SNAP* hahahahahah!
Have a good day!
::: Thursday, February 16, 2006 :::
Mean Puppy

Mean Kitten

Mean Mouse

Nice Catch - The Bud Fish

Psalm 23

Have a nice day! - Spook.
BOFH [Link] (@ The Register 2000-present)
BOFH [Link] (Official Archive 1995-1999)
The BOFH is a systems and networks operator who, with his sidekick PFY (Pimple-Faced Youth), wreak havoc and dominate their workplace, instilling fear and loathing amongst the ranks of the organisation. They scam, they kill, they lock people in their fire-proof safe and keep their bosses... for about a week. Then there's a new one.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Guns'N'Roses - Sweet Child O'Mine
What was the last thing my TV did? Played Turok Evolution for about an hour last night. Damn, killing dinosaurs is fun when all you take are headshot.
How am I feeling? Why? Alright, doing good.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Damn cold again. Partly cloudy again. Who hit the replay button from yesterday?
Random Comments: I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs - Mitch Hedberg
::: Wednesday, February 15, 2006 :::
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
we're standing around after a show and some skinny trailerpark drunk dood walks over and demands
doesnt ask
but demands a cigarette from me
im not one for that shit in his voice so i tell him to fuck off
the bastard swings
a looping well telegraphed swing and trips over his own feet sprawling out on the sidewalk
for some reason it was so sad we didnt even laugh
we just looked at him
all bent he gets up and starts this flying leap shit at me but
slips in dogshit and mugs on the selfsame sidewalk
then we laugh till we peed
he walked off dogshitshmear down his calf and shin
best fight i never got in
Linkfest: Short and sweet!- qlam [Link] This is kind of hard to explain, it's an animated... toy that jiggles.
- VIDEO: Scaredy Cat Plant [Link] Touch it, it rolls up it's leaves.
- GALLERY: Large Foods [Link] Wow.
- VIDEO: Mahna Mahna [Link] One of the one of the strange and wonderful skits from The Muppet show. Very similar to many skits done on Sesame Street. No words, just sounds and bright colors, which young children respond to very well.
- PICTURE: Spider [Link] Look at those eyes.
- ARTICLE: Question (is) Everything: Design that answers unimagined questions [Link] It’s a key truth about design: the questions you ask limit the answers you can come up with. But usually the questions that don’t get asked are subtler ones. What underlying problems that the consumer faces will this product solve? Are there new problems it will create? Good design is as much about asking the right questions as it is about beautiful forms. It’s about expecting your users to pose new questions about whatever you create, and making it easy for users to answer those questions themselves.
- Cooking By Numbers [Link] Don't bother going shopping, let's cook with what you have.
- LIFEHACKER: Getting To Done: My Best Timesavers [Link] Become more organised!
- LIFEHACKER: Getting To Done: Biggest Time Eaters [Link] Just because.
- Instructables: step-by-step collaboration [Link] Instructables is a venue for showing what you make and how others can make it. You can record and share your projects with a mixture of images, text, ingredient lists, CAD files, and more.
- VIDEO: MAGICAL FALL [Link] Looks like a small lake surrounded by CG animals. Very nice to watch.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Korn - Twisted Transistor | Lyrics: [Link]
What was the last thing my TV did? Watched The Big Empty, starring Jon Favreau, Racheal Leigh Cook, Darryl Hannah, Joey Lauren Adams and Adam Beach. It's kind of a mystery, drama with comedy in it. The ending is totally out of left field, but then who really cares when you get to watch Racheal Leigh Cook take shots of Jack Daniel then whipped cream out of a can.
How am I feeling? Why? Okay. I'm being treated well.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." DAMN COLD. And partly cloudy.
Random Comments: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
::: Tuesday, February 14, 2006 :::

Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
Like Father, Like Son
He's eighteen months old, we're at the mall, and he goes postal on me. People turn their heads, smile and look sympathetic, but keep walking.
Nothing else working, so I pick him up, tuck him under one arm, and head for the exit.
He: "Help! Help!"
People stop dead. There are maybe 100 eyes staring at us, alarmed. Some of the more impulsive start moving towards us.
We collapse in a heap, giggling ourselves silly.
That's my boy.
Joke: WHY YELLING AT MEN IS POINTLESS
When a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't "do laundry right now!
What a man hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
(Who says we don't see romance in trivial things? - Spook.)
::: Wednesday, February 08, 2006 :::
Samorost 2 [Link]
This is the sequel to the original Samorost, the flash puzzle game where you had to progress through the weird and wacky world of... whatever the hell that is.
Carbage [Link]
You know what they say - one man's meat is another man's floppy fibreglass spoiler. But thankfully Top Gear is here to ridicule the clueless by bringing you the best chavved-up motors and tasteless tat. Welcome, then, to Carbage.
(Thanks to Gwen@work for e-mailing me this - Spook)
The Cadbury's Candy Co. and Merck Drug Co. have combined to market the new Mint flavored birth control pill that women may take immediately before sex.
The Pill will be distributed by the large major drug store chains and Wal-Mart's Pharmacies.
They're going to be called....
"Pre-dick-a-mints."
Linkfest- Tattoos: Macintosh Miscellaneous [Link] I think "Sad Mac" has to be my fravourite.
- Figure 1. (Every Playboy Centerfold, 1988-1997) [Link] No, it's not a gallery, it's a composite image averaging every single centerfold picture.
- What Not to Crochet (BLOG) [Link] Genius.
- VIDEO: SuperMonk [Link] He kicks @$$.
- Bloghub. [Link] Bloghub.com is an online directory and community where members from around the world gather here and exchange ideas. I'm not sure if I registered here or not...
- Good Experience Games [Link] "hese are online games that, in my opinion, offer a "good experience" - good game design with an overall attention to quality. Unless otherwise noted, they're all free, online, and available right now."
- VIDEO: "papillon 0001" [Link] Funny foreign remix using subtitles.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Audioslave - Be Yourself
What was the last thing my TV did? Watched Wallace & Gromit - Curse of the Were-Rabbit. It was pretty darn funny.
How am I feeling? Why? Pretty good. Wednesday should be fun.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Frickin' COLD. Someone gimme a blanket to wrap myself in.
Random Comments: Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
::: Tuesday, February 07, 2006 :::
But first, a little joke:
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question".
- Richard Scarry's Best Word Book Ever, 1963 vs 1991 editions (with revisions). [Link] "The 1963 edition is my own, bought for me in the late 60's when I was a toddler, and read to tatters. The 1991 edition belongs to my kids today. I was so familar with the older one that I immediately started noticing a few differences, and so have catalogued 10 of the more interesting differences here in this collection."
- VIDEO: Fire Fart [Link] AKA, the best way to light a candle after a fizzy beverage.
- The Cubes [Link] Finally, the drudgery of corporate life has been captured in a play set for adults! The Cubes spend eight hours a day, five days a week, at tiny desks in tiny cubicles in a giant room packed with countless similar cubicles in a giant building filled with countless similar rooms. Each set has one 2-3/4" posable plastic figure and all the necessary plastic parts to build a classic corporate cube: four walls, desk, chair, file cabinet, in/out box, phone, and computer. Comes with a sticker sheet of decor for your cube, complete with graphs, charts, screens for the computer and pithy office posters. Also includes a job title sticker sheet so you can create a convoluted and meaningless position for your employee.
- The Forbes Fictional 15 [Link] Collectively, we are fascinated by the super-rich. We devour their biographies. We hang on their advice. Maybe we even hope for their downfall. But in our attempts to explain the ultra-rich--and their super-inflated bank accounts--we are often guilty of reducing real people to mere caricatures. There is the monopolist. The oracle. The genius. The thief. With the Forbes Fictional 15, we have taken the opposite approach--fiction’s caricatures are elevated to the status of real people.
- Zoomed in food [Link] The zoomed in world of food. Complete with citizens.
- The Top 10 Dumbest Personal Names Ever [Link] Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 is a name. Enough said.
- Fan Fiction: TV Shows [Link] And it's not just TV Shows that they do, they also have other categories like Books, Movies, Cartoons, Comics, etc..
- Diary [Link] With such a misleading name, one would think one would find a little girl's diary. But no, you go to this page, type something, and the blocks show it. Try it out, it's pretty cool. Or just sit and stare at it, waiting for the prompt "TYPE SOMETHING"
- San Francisco in Jell-O [Link] That's kinda cool.
- The 10 Most Puzzling Ancient Artifacts [Link] I figure this is just evidence that older civilisations were smarter than we think. Or aliens.
- Guess The TV Show or Movie Name [Link] Here are the rules: Think of the name of a TV Show or Movie. I'll try to guess which one you are thinking of using simple yes/no questions. If you're not sure of the answer to a question, answer "No".
- GALLERY: Armless Amputee Women [Link] Creepy to the Nth degree.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Collective Soul - Needs
What was the last thing my TV did? I watched most of Icon, a made-for-TV movie starring Patrick "Roadhouse" Swayze, but I couldn't finish watching it.
How am I feeling? Why? I'm feeling pretty good. My worst problem right now is my blood pressure has risen above normal.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Sunny with a few clouds and really nice when I'm dressed warm.
Random Comments: I don't pretend to have all the answers. I don't pretend to even know what the questions are. Hey, where am I?
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
ONE:
Bored?
Try going down to K-mart, and go into the section with all of the clock radios. Synchronize the time on all the clocks, set all the alarms to go off 10 minutes later, then head to the appliance section and wait for the fun to begin.
TWO:
More wedding tales. We had all been watching in silent, drunken fascination as the young lady with the generous J Lo-esque arse kept pulling her skirt out from between the cheeks of her aforementioned arse. After ten or so repeats of the operation Tim could stand it no longer. The next time her skirt rode up into the cleft & she reached behind he leant foward, hand out stretched, & said "No, thats all right Sue, I'll get this one." I laughed so long & hard I thought I'd ruptured something.
::: Monday, February 06, 2006 :::
Cute Overload [Link] From the website: "At Cute Overload, we scour the Web for only the finest in Cute Imagery. Imagery that is Worth Your Internet Browsing Time. We offer an overwhelming amount of cuteness to fill your daily visual allowance. Drink it in!"
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Metallica - Low Man's Lyric
What was the last thing my TV did? Watched disc 2 of The Trailer Park Boys, Season 1 & 2.
How am I feeling? Why? Alright, had a good sleep.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Nice and cool. Gotta stay warm today.
Random Comments: People who say they've learned from their mistakes should have studied more for the test in the first place.
::: Saturday, February 04, 2006 :::
::: Friday, February 03, 2006 :::
Movie Mistakes [Link] brings you errors in the production of major motion pictures. For instance...
Star Wars: When the stormtroopers break into the control room, the storm trooper on the right of the screen hits his head on the door frame. On the DVD release they've added a thump when he hits it.
And;
Jurassic Park: In the scenes where there's a video link to the docks shown on computer, there's a bar moving along the bottom of the screen, showing us that it's actually a video that's just playing on the computer.
There's more there - Spook.
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
Getting To School On Time
Like, I never did.
Alarm clock -- no good. Loud alarm clock -- no good.
My mother got sick of shaking me, and just gave up. After I missed a serious exam, I started experimenting.
The final solution was a loud doorbell connected to a timer.
On its own, it didn't work, because I would just turn it off without waking up.
So I got more inventive. I connected it to five toggle pushbuttons. To turn it off, I had to remember which button I'd pushed before I went to sleep.
Didn't work -- I could pull the plug out of the wall without waking up.
My grades were going to hell. I started to get desperate -- I screwed the plug to the wall with those tamper-proof screws that you see in public toilets.
Didn't work -- I could somehow run through all 32 combinations of the toggle switches without waking up.
I missed another exam. I put the toggle switches in a deep box that was about 1" wide. Across the front of the box I stapled two naked 240 volt wires (this was Scotland).
That worked. Just try to stay asleep while poking your finger between two naked live wires. You only want to do it once, so you have to be awake enough to remember which one you pushed last night.
My grades went back up: big deal -- I think I deserved a Nobel Prize.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Collective Soul - Precious Declaration | Lyrics: [Link] | Band: [Link]
What was the last thing my TV did? I watched The Legend of Zorro, starring Catherine Zeta Jones and Antonio Banderas.
How am I feeling? Why? Dunno, I woke up early and tried to stay asleep, I stayed up past 1:00am last night watching that movie. Otherwise I'm fine, but I'll probably be tired at work.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." This is going to be a dreary day. So cold and cloudy.
Random Comments: The way some people find fault with every damn thing in life, you'd think there was a reward.
::: Thursday, February 02, 2006 :::
[Link] It looks pretty cool. Uses Java.
From the website: "It is a non-linear, interactive visual experience. The user enters one or more words that define the subject of a dream he would like to dream. The system looks in the Web for images related to those words, and takes them as input to generate an ambiguous painting, in perpetual change, where elements fuse into one another, in a process analogous to memory and free association."
Early morning hours. An angry programmer ges in to the kitchen, to have something to eat. His wife comes in and notices his grumpy mood.
"What’s the problem, darling? The program didn’t work?"
"It worked!"
"Were there many bugs in it?"
"There were no bugs in it! It worked perfectly!"
"So, what is it?"
"I then decided to have a nap, for a few minutes!"
"Was it bad? Did you have a nightmare?"
"It was a perfect nap on the BACKSPACE!!!!"
Linkfest- Thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com [Link] Ever wonder what the longest (insert item) in the world is? You've come to the right place, the website with the longest name. THE LONGEST LIST OF THE LONGEST STUFF AT THE LONGEST DOMAIN NAME AT LONG LAST!
- Why Long Toes? [Link] Not Only Beautiful, But Practical. Also, galleries to view their long digits.
- The Incredible Hulk Hulk ends up in the Pool! [Link] Silly fun with a large balloon.
- Happy Tail Ale [Link] Dog Star Brewing Company gives you a non-alcoholic and non-carbonated drink, the ultimate liquid refreshment for your best friend.
- What's your body telling you? [Link] These are 'early warning signs' that could be resolved with simple changes to diet or lifestyle. Many of these nutritional deficiencies or imbalances, if left, could result in serious illness or disease. This site now guides you to the exact supplement for your condition, through targeted nutrition.
- The Locks O' Truth [Link] Someone told me "I wonder how difficult it is to shoot a lock off? I've seen it done on TV and in movies, but wonder if it is as easy as they show it to be. How about if I send you some funds to buy some locks. Will you shoot them and report back?" The only answer was, "Sure! Why not?"
- DNA11 [Link] From life comes art - combining science and art to create one-of-a-kind masterpieces. They basically take your DNA and put it's unique print onto a canvas.
- 18 Tricks to Teach Your Body [Link] Soothe a burn, cure a toothache, clear a stuffed nose...
- Maze Classification [Link] Mazes in general (and hence algorithms to create Mazes) can be organized along seven different classifications. These are: Dimension, Hyperdimension, Topology, Tessellation, Routing, Texture, and Focus. A Maze can take one item from each of the classes in any combination. You can also see examples of said mazes.
- GALLERY: Tree Carvings [Link] Trees which have been sculptured and are anchored to the ground with the tree roots.
- Do-it-yourself: Stop junk mail, email and phone calls [Link] Good stuff.
- Worst-Case Scenarios: How To Jump From Rooftop To Rooftop [Link] Learn parkoir. This kinda seems like fun.
- retroCRUSH: THE 50 COOLEST APES OF ALL TIME [Link] Cool, I like Mighty Joe Young. #28
- HOOAH Energy Bar [Link] "The world's most powerful military has devoted its considerable resources to making an energy bar, and the results are impressive. HOOAH! bars pack a wallop of balanced nutrition and taste good, too."
- Popular Science magazine - October, 2005. (Of course it tasted good, the taste testers were probably trained military personnel. - D.) - The Food Loop [Link] This is the first heat resistant solicone food trussing tool. It is designed to replace kitchen string and toothpicks in the food prep and cooking process.
- Lunchclock.com [Link] Covertly extend your lunch hour! Your options are from 1 minute to 1 hour, but don't push it too far.
- YOUR NAME IS NOT AN ACCIDENT OF FATE - ACROPHONOLOGY AND YOU [Link] Acrophonology enables us to determine individualized energy patterns from a name. Letters are symbols for energy. They label the energies you possess. We will now explore your name for your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy symbols to discover WHAT'S IN YOUR NAME ...?
- Swank Signs [Link] This webmaster has a fairly strange love of odd and off-kilter street signs, which are just begging to be mocked. Some of the signs in the site are downright bizarre - they certainly make you wonder what was going on in the minds of those people designing these signs. Swanksigns is nothing more than a huge gallery of these oddities.
- The Internet Lost and Found [Link] I lost my innocence when I was about 12. I wonder if anyone's found it?
- Worth1000 Contest: Animal Dayjobs 4 [Link] The rules of this game are thus: Photoshop an animal into the day job of your choice. Please do not merely photoshop the head of an animal onto a human worker's body unless you modify it sufficiently to look like an animal's body, ie, exposed skin should look as though it belongs to the animal, not a person.
- The Advertising Slogan Generator [Link] I sloganized "Twisted" and look what I got on the first try: Full Of Eastern Twisted.
- On a kind-of-but-not-really related note. I'm not a slurpee&dot indian, I'm a casino&bingo indian.
- Photo in the News: Baby Foxes Going to the Dogs [Link] It seems that it only takes a moderate number of generations to comepletely domesticate foxes.
- b3ta: Run Scuffy, run [Link] I like beta for the ub3rtalented geeks.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Nothing, but my cat Shorty is bugging me by walking back and forth by my forearms on my desk. SHOO CAT! I KNOW HOW TO SKIN YOU ALIVE!!!
What was the last thing my TV did? Watched the interviews in the special features on the Resevoir Dogs DVD.
How am I feeling? Why? A little tired, I overslept by about an hour, but it was rest I needed anyway. I need a coffee now.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Calm, cool, cloudy.
Random Comments: You can kidnap me and force me to be your watchdog if you want to. But I'm telling you, I will bark at any sound I hear and it will drive you crazy. - Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
::: Wednesday, February 01, 2006 :::
What's playing? Rammstein - Mann Gegen Mann | Lyrics: [Link] | Band: [Link]
What was the last thing my TV did? Nothing since yesterday.
How am I feeling? Why? Pretty good. It's turning out to be a pretty good week.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Nice and snow covered. It was warm this morning but the temperature is dropping and the wind is picking up this afternoon.
Random Comments: I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.
Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
The other day I realized I was running low on boxers. But, me being as lazy as I am didn't ever remember to go out and get any until I passed by a rack at wal-mart. I decided that this was a good chance to get some so I go down the isle and look at all the strange different kinds they had. Until I finally came upon some ones that wern't as pathetic as the others. I walked out of the store with 3 pairs. One with a huge print of the cookie monster's face, one with a huge print of oscar the grouch's face, and one with snoopy laying down on his dog house. I went about wearing my fine new boxers for a few days until it came time to empty a few blanks into the toilet. I whipped out my cock when I happened to be in front of the mirror. I looked down to see my penis sticking out of the cookie monster's head and his eyes happened to be right where my balls would be. I thought it was pretty funny when I found out it was the same with the oscar pair. But I about $#!t a brick when I saw my cock sticking out right between snoopy's legs.