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asTWISTED byDave: September 2005
::: Friday, September 30, 2005 :::
I'm not sure who I stole this from, but... Yoink!
::: Thursday, September 29, 2005 :::
Three women were being held in a foreign country. They were slated for the firing squad.
The commander yells, "Ready...Aim..." and the brunette yells "Earthquake!!!"
Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the brunette escapes.
The commander then tells his soldiers to get up. "Ready...Aim..." and the redhead yells "Tornado!!!"
Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the redhead escapes.
The commander then yells to his soldiers to get up. "Ready...Aim..." and the blonde yells "Fire!!!"
Four more posters for ya!
::: Wednesday, September 28, 2005 :::
If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Following the rules will not get the job done.
Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Megadeth "Breadline" |Lyrics: [Link]
What was the last thing my TV did? Played a tournament in Hot Shots Golf Fore! I'm close to the next challenge game.
How am I feeling? Why? Well rested and full of vitality. No, that's the coffee typing.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Cold. What happened to the warm?
Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
After a heavy nite of drinking, Nick arouses from his passed-out state, looking rather green. On the verge of puking he turns to me and says,
"Gimme something."
So, because I was drunk and didn't make the connection that he wanted something to puke in, and maybe subconsciously I needed a little comedy, I handed him my cell phone.
Hey, it's something.
::: Tuesday, September 27, 2005 :::
Because one isn't enough. (And I get most of my hits from the KNet lastupdated page)
- Carny Lingo [Link] Ciazarn for you.
- Bravehearts in Kilts Against Trouser Tyranny [Link] This would be a good idea, but the weather is getting cold.
- Comprehensive Cleaning and Stain Removal [Link] Blood removal has an uncomfortably large page.
- Spidrons [Link] The Spidron is a planar figure consisting of two alternating sequences of isosceles triangles which, once it is folded along the edges, exhibits extraordinary spatial properties.
- Eric Harshbargers Lego Portfolio [Link] Woah. An actual geekgasm in progress.
- Napkin Folding 101 [Link] Make Purdy flowers out of the rag you wipe your face with.
- Flash Game: City Jumper Extreme [Link] I had more fun smashing his poor little stick-head in.
- Flash Game: BMX Backflips 2 [Link] Yeah... kinda fun. Skip to a harder level after the first one.
- justcurio.us [Link] They ask a question, and you answer it. Then you repeat the process until you get bored. Or stay there for hours, pondering your answers.
- Catty V3 [Link] Catty v3 is an exercise in artificial futility. It is a chatter bot that does not try to understand or simulate human language, cannot learn, does not know meanings, knows no facts. Instead, it interfaces you to the entire web by using Google search engine to look up sentences that may be relevant to what you are saying.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Lacuna Coil - Cold
How am I feeling? Why? Alright. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened to me. Yet.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Warm! It's excellent, I'm going bikeriding again after work.
Random Comments: "Mister, can I have some of your apple juice?" "This isn't apple juice, kid, it's grown-up juice in an apple juice bottle."
Quiz: Unveil Yourself [Link] My answer:
Personality
You are the BOSS who governs the city of the darkness.
Since the boss has a charismatic personality and being born to be a boss, he/she naturaly has a large following. The boss wouldn't show his/her mercy for an act of a betrayal. Mercilessness is sometimes needed to live in the city of the darkness.
However the boss has a generosity to accept the one as a member of his/her family if the one would pledge his/her loyalty.
The boss decieve people only for the sake of his/her plan. Even though the boss always hope to have peace among the bosses, there always bring on a war because of his/her selfishness.
Sometimes the boss becomes sentimental, thinking about the evil deed he/she has done. Though the boss lapses into such dilemma, he/she can maintain the strongest seat.
The boss becomes weak when his/her followers aren't present.It is thoe boss's followers who makes him/her feel strong.So don't underestimate them. They might betray the boss some day.
The boss is sincere about love and he/she always love one person with all his/her heart ,so the boss might not have lovers .
Your hobby: Money laundering
Lucky Color: Black
Love match: 1. Cyborg 2. Alien 3. Mecha-Dragon
Okay.....
Linkfest- Nicotine Beer Designed to Help Drinkers Quit Smoking [Link] I know some people this would help.
- Underground city [Link] Okay, that settles it, that's where I'm retiring. Next year.
- Gallery: Unfortunate Greeting Cards [Link] LOL
- The Clock With A Very Interesting History [Link] Made in prison out of... stuff.
- The Aurora Page [Link] If you whistle at the page, it'll get you as you sleep.
- Gig Posters: Metallica [Link] Concert posters! Lots of them! Not just Metallica either, but I had to choose a band to show.
- Flash Game: Paper Airplane Flight [Link] Press left and right to not crash into the barriers as your paper airplane glides downward.
- Funny: All-new Sesame Street [Link] LOL @ The Count
- Gallery: Time-lapse captures of sparklers! [Link] It's been done by almost everyone on Canada Day (Or Independence Day) but someone finally posted pictures.
All about smoking:
Remember, smoking doesn’t kill people. People who are trying to quit smoking kill people.
One poll says 73% of Americans favor raising the cigarette tax. It's only fair. Since smokers aren't around as long as the rest of us, they should pay more while they're here.
I quit smoking once for six days. And then they untied me.
Trying to quit smoking can drive you nuts -- especially when you try to light your nicotine gum.
Marlboro has a line of outdoor gear for smokers. They recommend you buy it a size larger so paramedics don’t have to cut it off of you.
The Marlboro clothing is very functional. The denim jacket has electric heart paddles sewn right into the lining, and there’s a backpack that can hold a portable respirator.
I stopped smoking and extended my life expectancy. My wife is furious.
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Lacuna Coil's "To Myself I Turned" |Website: [Link] |Lyrics: [Link]
What was the last thing my TV did? Nothing, it's been off all night.
How am I feeling? Why? Doin' Fine. Got to quickly post this then run off to work.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Indian Summer. It's kinda cold out there right now, but that's because I'm only wearing a sweater
Random Comments: What were Jesus' last words at The Last Supper? "Ok, all you guys who want to be in the picture, get on THIS side of the table"
::: Monday, September 26, 2005 :::
September 26 - National Pancake Day
September 27 - Crush a Can Day
September 28 - Ask a Stupid Question Day
September 29 - Confucius Day
September 30 - ???? E-Mail me a holiday!!!
October 1 - World Vegetarian Day
October 2 - Name Your Car Day
Linkfest:- How It Works...The Computer [Link] This book was published in 1971, and the revised edition was published in 1979.
- Gallery: Beautiful Mutants [Link] Goodbye, Lunch.
- MEDITATION PRACTICE [Link] "I would strongly advise everyone to start with a serious course in meditation in a centre or group under the guidance of an experienced teacher, preferably at least with a few days in silence..."
- Social Customs and Social Differences [Link] Because you'll make the rest of us look like a bunch of idiots if you ever leave your rez.
- Learn Latin [Link] Ono otnay igpay atinlay!
- Optical Illusions, Etc. [Link] It comes with this: "Caution! Some of the optical illusions on this blog may cause dizziness or possibly epileptic seizures."
- Installing a new habit and breaking an old one [Link] Switch addictions!
- CANstruction [Link] It's a charity that puts on design competitions of stuff made of canned food, then it's all donated to local charities.
- Stuff On My Cat [Link] If you have a cat, you know they'll tolerate lots just to lay there.
- Shoe Lacing Methods [Link] I see so many teens with their laces lagging behind them.
- Phone Spell [Link] What does your phone number spell?
- 40 Things That Only Happen In Movies [Link] 23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
- ANCIENT INVENTIONS [Link] Cool $#!t.
- Top 13 Most Overrated Songs [Link] Hey, don't shoot the messenger...
- How to finish library books on time [Link] Because I usually extend mine.
Stuff To Do:- The World's Most Attractive Paper [Link] Tell her what you find most attractive and get a response.
- Mr. Smarty Pants Knows. [Link] Looking for a factoid? Do a single keyword search from Mr. Smarty Pants' subtotal of knowledge about accordions, dinosaurs, flan (the dessert), language, religion, superstitions, sex, sports, Texas, washaterias, and the world of business.
- XO [Link] Get five X's or O's in a row, while blocking the opponent.
- Gallery: Worth1000 Competition: Surf and Turf [Link] They take land animals and show them as underwater creatures, or vice versa.
- Flash Anim: Hiss of Death [Link] Yeah, HISS.
- Redundant: Plan of the Gallery [Link] It should just say "Museum of old stuff" Check it out. You could be using that old crap.
- Flash Board: Alien Encounter [Link] Press a button and the corresponding action and sound happens.
- How to be a guerrilla artist [Link] Have fun and good luck!
Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
My friend and I went to a new mall and picked up a map to carry around with us. She was trying to figure out where the Burberry store was. As we walked, she looked intently at the map and wondered out loud, "where's the 'you are here' sticker?"
She didn't understand why I laughed at her
Twisted Funnies- What avatar pictures really mean [Link] In the categories of "Photo Style" "What they want you to think" and "What it really means."
- The Oxymoron List [Link] casual dress, boxing ring, enthusiastic indifference, recycling dump, etc...
- Small Ads from the UK [Link] Heheheh.
- Mr. Sheep Galleries [Link] He takes a normal photograph and adds a comical twist. The results are usually pretty funny.
- Library Lore [Link] Weird stories from the library.
- Great Hotel Service [Link] Yeah, the local Best Western probably would call the cops on your ass, though.
- Forgotten pictures of popular people [Link] It starts with Terry Hatcher! LOL and look at the $#!t-kicking moustache on Pierce Brosnan!
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Dream Theatre's "Peruvian Skies"
What was the last thing my TV did? Played some Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. In the south western part of the map, there's a big mountain you can BASE jump off of. And getting up there, is pretty fun too.
How am I feeling? Why? Not sure, I'm kinda not totally awake yet.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Going to be good. I'm going biking after work today!
Random Comments: Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
::: Sunday, September 25, 2005 :::
LIBRA (born between 24th September and 23rd October):
You could find yourself taking the lead in a group project. Or accepting an official post on a local committee. Be sure to dot all the I's and cross all the T's especially if everyone needs to know exactly what their duties are supposed to be. Handling people with kid gloves is your speciality and you will swiftly encourage a team to work together in harmony, even the most awkward and obstinate members of your group!
Linkfest- Gallery: A Visual History of Whispering Imps On Magic Posters [Link] The Image of the sagacious magician looking knowingly at the viewer with small imps whispering the enduring secrets of magic in his ear has been often used on magician's advertising posters.
- Flash: Don't flick your cursor at this guy [Link] 'Cause he'll take it. And eat it.
- How to Handle Kids and Guns! [Link] Yeehaa!
- Uri Geller Bike [Link] Bend it. Bag it. Bike. It would suck to have your bend accidentally bend on your while descending a hill.
- Muppet Movies: Statler & Waldorf review current movies from their balcony [Link] I love these old cranks!
- Blog: Bayraider [Link] A blog on cool stuff being sold on eBay.
- McSweeney's Internet Tendency [Link] Nice website.
- Time's 50 Coolest Websites 2005 [Link] Should be good.
- Reality [Link] Type in something and the video feed will show you the monitor that displays what you typed. And... the monitor is glued to the wall. Nice ad though.
JOKE: Football FINALLY makes sense..........
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Audioslave - Yesterday to Tommorrow|Website: [Link] |Lyrics: [Link]
What was the last thing my TV did? I decided to stop playing Full Spectrum Warrior on my PS2 Because I don't feel the need to finish it again on the game's hardest settings. |Info: [Link]
How am I feeling? Why?
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Agreeable, it's Indian Summer!
Random Comments: Dance like no one is watching, but if everyone is pointing maybe it's time for dance lessons.
Okay, I'm going to go watch The Simpsons now, I think it's a new episode. I love The Simpsons, but not as much as this girl:
::: Friday, September 23, 2005 :::
I'm posting many Family Guy images and animations this morning.
Linkfest - The original link list on Twisted.- Wikipedia : Lamest edit wars ever [Link] Occasionally, Wikipedians lose their minds and get into edit wars over the most petty things.
- Disposable Camcorder [Link] Here's one of those "have to see it to believe it" things. DISPOSABLE?!?!
- Sprayonmud [Link] Sprayonmud is a specially formulated spray-on product for anyone that wants to give friends, neighbours, colleagues or just anyone at all, the impression that they have been off-road or, at the very least, out in the country for the weekend.
- Wikipedia : List of people widely considered eccentric [Link] An eccentric is someone whose behaviour, beliefs and/or hobbies deviate in a significant way from the accepted norms of their society, but otherwise can function largely as normal in society. He or she may be regarded as strange, odd or at least unconventional, irregular and erratic. Other people may regard the eccentric with apprehension but also with amusement.
- Twisted News: Never IM in This Town Again! [Link] A Wired article about how IM programs help people find work faster. In the 90's they called it "networking" in the new millenium, we now take it a bit more literal.
- UI Hall of Shame [Link] Extreme Bad Programming.
- Silver AJ’s Nails [Link] One Word, One Question: Why?
- One Free Minute [Link] What would you say, given one free minute of anonymous public speech?
- 30 Things You Didn't Know You Could Do on the Internet [Link] Yes, I'm helpful, I know.
- Firefox Resources: FoxyTunes Skins [Link] Because I loves me that Firefox.
- High-energy workout from homemakers.com [Link] Shape up, you single moms! (I'm gonna catch hell from this one...)
- A 1935 US Plan for Invasion of Canada [Link] Again, one of those "I have to see it to believe it" things.
- Woo Hoo! Work On 'Simpsons' Movie Begins [Link] Can't wait.
- Totally Useless Facts [Link] Fill my head with crap, I am.
- Surprising Expiration Dates [Link] A handy, who-knew guide for 77 foods, beauty products, and household goods
- New Thumb Shape USB Stick [Link] Thumb Drives, get it? Aw, you suck.
- Money Magazine's 50 Smartest things to do with your money. [Link] Hey waitaminute. Booze n women ain't on here...
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Filter's "Where do we go from here?" Lyrics: [Link]
What was the last thing my TV did? I haven't used it much in the past few days.
How am I feeling? Why? A bit tired. I got to sleep late and woke up early.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Well, it finally reached freezing temperature. The lake is a foggy haze. I can't even see the beach. As far as I know, the rest of the world froze away.
Random Comments: "Overall, it was mildly satisfying, just like changing my windows startup sound to a car starting, revving and driving off."
Twisted Funnies - Because laughing makes your workday go by faster.- Children's Literature for the 21st Century [Link] ..Eh, heh-heh... (nervous laugh)
- BAD WORKING ENVIRONMENTS [Link] PWN3D!
- Beast Blender [Link] *Whirr-r-r*
- Firefox Extension: Beer o'clock [Link] Kick... Ass...
- DONTCLICK.IT [Link] You may not get this one...
- Great quotes by comedians [Link] "Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" - John Mendoza.
Videos, Animations & Other Things 2 Click.- Play With Me [Link] By van sowerwine. What a creepy little doll, even worse when you click on something.
- BlogThings: A Quick and Dirty IQ Test [Link] Hmm, onlt 120. I'm getting stupid in my old age.
- My Name Is John Daker... [Link] ...and I found a bunch of videos of some bad music students. Heh-heh.
- Forbes: Do you have what it takes to be a billionaire? [Link] 10 questions and I get this: 44/100, Upper Tax Bracket. Nice house in the 'burbs, country club membershit, private schools, two-car garage.
- Slideshow: Goodyear Blimp goes down [Link] Just like on the arrows at the upper left.
- Animal Planet's Trick Contest Winner [Link] Cool parrot.
- Gallery: Crazy Case Mod Contest [Link] "A Fire Inside" gets my vote.
- Gallery: Art of Science Competition [Link] 2005 Online Exhibition.
- Cinema Redux [Link] This explores the idea of distilling a whole film down to one single image. This samples a movie every second and generates an 8 x 6 pixel image of the frame at that moment in time. It does this for the entire film, with each row representing one minute of film time.
- Ministry Messiah [Link] A 2 minute, 30 second animated movie set to music. Very cool.
- Gallery: Geek Tattoos [Link] But it only goes up to page ten. And yes, the Zelda Triforce can be seen here.
- Flash Game: Poom! [Link] A ball drops and you have to keep it bouncing by moving a deviating platform around.
- Flash Movie: Low Morale [Link] babap bababapab bab bap.
- The 30-Second Bunnies Theatre Library [Link] There's been some updates, so here they are again!
- Gallery: Videogame Lookalikes [Link] Totally.
- Gallery: Skills only found in China [Link] Woah.
See you later.
::: Thursday, September 22, 2005 :::
Linkfest! All the garbage you've come to expect of 'Twisted.- Nemester [Link] Nemester is an online community that connects paranoids, egotists, villains, and monomaniacs through networks of competing agendas and incompatable ideologies for bitter conflicts, mutual loathing, or to find their one, true nemesis.
- SATELLITE FUN MAPS [Link] Check out some of the great images from satellite maps in the world that resemble many things easily recognizable to the eye.
- Origami Folding Instructions [Link] I did the traditional lily
- Sightseeing with Google Satellite Maps [Link] See the world without the plane tickets.
- CSS Vault [Link] People ask me to make their homepages for them. What am I? Made of TIME? Learn it yourself!
Native American Poetry & Stories [Link] Love it.- Toonopedia [Link] A Vast Repository of Toonological Knowledge. Toonological?
- Carabet Mechanical Theatre: Automata [Link] It's an online store, but *look* at those things!
I lack inspiration. I've been sucked dry like a tube of toothpaste. ...Not that you really suck toothpaste. I mean, you might, but I don't. Not that there'd be anything wrong with you if you did. ...You don't do that, do you? There might be nothing wrong with you, but we'd all think you're really strange. Coz u know, u suck toothpaste, and most people wouldn't do that. Most people, except for you.
Twisted Funnies Now I'm just making it easy on you.- Business card creator [Link] Bond. James Bond. International Man of Bacon.
- Make your own sweetheart [Link] Hahahahahaahahaaaahahaha!
- Fairly Freaky Animals [Link] Yuck. Don't eat and visit this site at the same time.
- RentMySon.Com [Link] You have to see it to believe it.
- Doggles [Link] Goggles, for dogs!
- Coal Train In Trouble [Link] Man, that sucks!
- How to Make Your Own Totally Sweet Mario Question Blocks and Put Them Up Around Town [Link] "Because It's Really Awesome" Heheh.
- Strong Bad E-mail #131 [Link] Boooorrrrrred!
Joke: "Beautiful Revenge"
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said,"Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheeks".
::: Tuesday, September 20, 2005 :::
See you in the morning. But, you won't see me. - Dave
(That's my nieces' cat sleeping in the background there. She's got a sissy name, but I call her "Shorty")
Good Morning. My cat likes to visit me in the mornings after I wake up, but she's not allowed in my room when I'm asleep because I end up kicking her across the room.
This is me before my first cup of tea.
Mmm.. breakfast.
Making myself a coffee at work one morning, one of my fellow coworkers tells me he had a big breakfast, the best he's had in a while. He tells me he had two helping of eggs, a couple poached eggs and a couple sunny side up, two slices of rye toast, an orange, a cup of coffee and six or seven patty-style sausages. "Nice," was all I told him. "Still," he says, "I could have eaten more, but I already had to leave for work." "I could have eaten more as well, I had blueberry french toast, bacon and a cold glass of milk," I tell him. Then he says to me "I think I would rather have had a hunk of moose meat and bannock. What would you have rather had this morning?"
I said "An Olsen twin, not the one with an eating disorder, but the one that only looks like she has an eating disorder."
These questions from here: 
1. Are you more likely to spread gossip or listen to gossip?
2. Have you ever hurt somebody with gossip and if so, how?
3. Have you ever been hurt by gossip and if so, how?
4. Are you more likely to believe gossip about people you dislike and dismiss gossip about people you do like?
5. If somebody is gossiping about someone you like, do you stick up for that person or continue to listen to the gossip?
My answers:
1. Listen. I don't speak much.
2. Yes. I doubt I know who, when or why, but I know someone doesn't like something being said about them. That's why I don't do it anymore.
3. Yes. Haters. 'Nuf said.
4. Nope. I usually dismiss it all.
5. Neither, I tell them doing that shit (gossip) can only result in bad karma.
::: Monday, September 19, 2005 :::
Okay... I haven't forgotten about this blog. How's about I publish once every two weeks or something, like a periodical? I dunno. Here's my attempt at making a newsletter/magazine-ish thingamajig:
My Horoscope for this week:
LIBRA (born between 24th September and 23rd October):
An old friend you've not seen for some time could take you by surprise by getting in touch via a third party. This could prompt you to think of times gone by and compare these with the present. Be honest and consider whether or not you've fallen into a rut. Are the decisions you make too cautious and is the way you live your life becoming too predictable? Take no notice if others raise their eyebrows: do something different for a change.
LINKFEST!- Where are you now? [Link] Log your trips and share the info with everybody! I've received many invites from people on Yahoo IM.
- Slang City [Link] Yeah, baby! It's the online home of American slang!
- History of the Yo-Yo [Link] I'm your professor this session. Prof. Morris. And I teach "How to waste time."
- "Lilac Chaser" [Link] Stare at the X in the middle, then watch the purple dots disappear.
- Monster Engine [Link] A sketch makes monsters.
- 1000 Bars [Link] My new hero's travelogue of a journey through 1000 bars in 1 year. I wish I could do that.
- You are a dog [Link] Nice blog. Interesting concept.
- Bootlet Browser [Link] Find concerts in mp3 format!
- Eric Grohe Murals [Link] This guy's goooood.
Feature: MASH UPS:
I spent a long time surfing these sites and there's a lot of cool stuff out there. The best one I found was a Cult vs. The Doors mashup. It's strange hearing Jim Morrison sing to a Cult tune.- Smash-Up Derby [Link] Shows, Live shows, recorded shows... Check it out.
- MashMix - News [Link] There really isn't much here, but what a site.
- dj BC's Boston Mash-up Project [Link] Answer me this: what's a choon?
- Business-to-business (b2b) Blog post on Mash Ups [Link] With a bonus "neato" shirt folding tip.
- Radio Clash [Link] Well, Radio Clash is a weekly mashup podcast from your host, Tim in London, UK and includes mash-ups (of course), mixes, weird covers and more! Bringing you the history of mash ups, bootleg events, news & views of the bootlegging scene since November 2004.
FUNNIES!- Dumb Crimes and Criminals [Link] Darwin was right.
- The Evil Sign Post [Link] Love it.
- Mr. Kitty International [Link] Sure, the comics are a click or two away, but this index makes the link more interesting.
- Dumb Moments [Link] Kind of like lowbrow.
"Full of it"
After a few moments of bragging my attributes my coworker said jokingly "wow, you're quite full of yourself today." I smiled and answered "Yeah" but before I could finish my sentence she laughed and tells me "at least you admit it." I laughed along for a bit then finally added "well, what else would I full of?"
TWISTED VIDS AND ANIMS- Grant Theft Auto: Lego City [Link] Wow. Someone had WAY too much time on their hands.
- Bring me the head of Charlie Brown [Link] LOL!
- Nike Freestyle Video. No, not THAT one. [Link] Heh.
- Warehouse Lunch Break Games [Link] Check it.
- Worth1000 Contest: Clowning Around [Link] Photos modded to make them look like clowns.
Spaz Juice. Drink this and feel less sucky. "For an energetic freak out that will bother everyone."
::: Sunday, September 18, 2005 :::
TOP HUMAN sexuality research team has just revealed the answer to one of man's greatest, age-old quandaries about women -- namely, what women think about while having sex!
The popular theory that during sex, women's minds go blank so they can focus totally on giving and receiving pleasure.
According to research, the only time women's minds actually go blank is when they're attempting to watch and understand a sports game.
Seriously - here are the results of a poll done by the Spaulding Institute.
97% of the women polled responded with:
•Whether or not she loves her partner and he loves her.
•If his sexual technique is "pleasing her."
•Her next shopping excursion.
•Brad Pitt.
•"While I appreciate the energy he's expending to find my G-Spot, he's no Christopher Columbus."
•Haagen-Dazs Chocolate Chocolate-Chip ice cream.
•"That ceiling could sure use another coating of paint."
•Shoes.
•Whether her partner might think her rear end is too fat.
The other 3%, primarily members of the Religious Right, were preoccupied during sex with the following thoughts:
•Hoping it ends soon.
•Jesus.
•"Things would be so much less icky if people didn't have genitals."
•President Bush.
•Mel Gibson.
•Her husband in a nice suit.
•Shoes.
In comparison, a similar research study directed toward men, revealed that 100 percent of all men, during sex, are thinking about:
•Pamela Anderson.
•Angelina Jolie.
•Halle Berry.
•Salma Hayek.
•"Oh, yeah, baby, I bet you never had it this good!"
•Friends, neighbors, and relatives they'd like to "bang."
•Beer.
•Favorite sports teams.
•Their dream job -- being a photographer for Playboy magazine.
•Winning the state lottery.
Stay tuned - I'm already looking for the results of other studies .. like ... what gays and lesbians think about during sex, what animals think about during sex, and what space aliens think about during sex.
This guy mods pictures and he's really, really good at it. [Link] Yafro is an open community for uploading pictures, so be wary of adult content. Adult content is automatically blocked if you're not a member and not signed in.
There's more if you're a member.
No, there's no pictures of me there.
September 19 - International Talk Like A Pirate Day
September 20 - National Punch Day
September 21 - Miniature Golf Day
September 22 - Elephant Appreciation Day
September 23 - Checkers Day
September 24 - Good Neighbor Day
September 25 - National Comic Book Day
::: Saturday, September 17, 2005 :::
Everyone will find something to laugh at in these pictures. You're welcome.
There were six here, I've still got another dozen or so left, so check back in a few days!
Our biorhythm charts depict a range of days centered on the target day. The numbers -14, -7, +7, and +14 across the top mark dates ranging from the past to the future. The numbers from +100% (maximum) to -100% (minimum) indicate where the rhythms are on a particular day. In general, a rhythm at 0% is thought to have no real impact on your life, whereas a rhythm at +100% (a high) would give you an edge in that area, and a rhythm at -100% (a low) would make life more difficult in that area. There is no particular meaning to a day on which your rhythms are all high or all low, except the obvious benefits or hindrances that these rare extremes are thought to have on your life.
What's yours? [Link]
My Biorythm: [Link] Mine says I'm as much of an insensitive jerk as I can be right now LOL!!!
::: Monday, September 12, 2005 :::
September 12 - Chocolate Milk Shake Day
September 13 - Defy Superstition Day
September 14 - National Cream-Filled Donut Day
September 15 - Felt Hat Day
September 16 - Collect Rocks Day
September 17 - Apple Dumpling Day
September 18 - International Peace Day
::: Sunday, September 11, 2005 :::
This was stolen from B3TA.com and it's by "Conundrum"
Strange things in the undergrowth...
Many moons ago I was a loyal servant of the Queen (Gawd Bless ‘Er), a fearless fighting soldier holding the borders of Germany against the menace of the Slavic Horde. Every year we were sent out into the countryside to lurk in the bushes, waiting for Ivan to come storming through the Fulda Gap, massed tank divisions of the Red Army poised to cut a bloody path to the Rhine. Every exercise season my unit lurked in the forests on Minden Ridge, passing the time away in time honoured tradition, eg, bullying new recruits, winding up officers and stealing each other’s turds.
Yep, that’s right, stealing turds. There are no toilets deep in the forest, and before the arrival of German contractors with their portaloos the solution was to grab a shovel, wander off into the bushes, dig a little hole, crap into it, then tidily fill it in before groping your way back to the tank laagers.
All the old soldiers took great delight in winding up the new boys. We used to warn them of the dangers of the deep German forests, strange animals that hid in the undergrowth, so starving they would eat the shit out of your arse before it hit the ground. Then ply them with illicit lager, crates of Herforder Pils hidden strategically in the ammunition lockers, topped up with bottles of Apple Korn and Jagermeister which all good squaddies have stashed away. Eventually one of these lads would stand up and fart, grab a shovel, and stumble off into the darkness….and the hunt was on!!!!
We would take our own shovel and follow, using our superior fieldcraft skills to silently creep up on the unsuspecting rookie, waiting for him to dig his hole, drop his trousers and squat over to drop his lot. Then snake forward, quietly reach forward with the shovel, place it strategically to catch whatever came out, then quietly withdraw with the spoils. There’s not a man alive who doesn’t turn to inspect his turds after crapping in the forest. But on looking into the hole, there’s a severe lack of evidence, even though he knows he’s just unloaded a good kilo of crap somewhere. So where the fuck is it?
The hardest part is not to laugh when watching this dickhead searching for his missing turds. The red-screened torch would come on, he’d pat the grass with his hands, walk in ever-increasing circles, then start flailing the bushes with his shovel. ‘Get out of it, you little shit-eating bastards!! Where the fuck are you?’ At this point we would fade silently into the background and leg it back to the camp, so by the time he found his way back we would be sitting quietly as before. As he excitedly poured out his story we would all look serious, wonder aloud about ‘Spetsnaz Infiltrators’, then get him to repeat his story ad infinitum, each repetition growing in detail about ‘noises in the bushes’, or ‘something moving in the shadows. Or even, God Save us, ‘a strange smell of corrupt flesh’. The more gullible among them could even be induced to write up an official ‘Contact Report’.
Guarding the West against the Red Menace that never so much fun again.
All true, as God is my witness. So where did those turds really go?
LIBRA (born between 24th September and 23rd October):
Creative ideas should be exploited to the full because there's an agreeable element of luck in the air. You will get the chance, over the next four weeks, to act on your own initiative. It's a time for bold enterprise and to take calculated risks. Some pleasing financial trends are likely to come your way and your efforts are almost certain to result in some form of bonus, financial or material reward. Visit www.russellgrant.com for more.
::: Tuesday, September 06, 2005 :::
September 5 - Be Late for Something Day (Yeah, I didn't even read this until Tuesday... I TRIED to post it too...)
September 6 - Fight Procrastination Day (How coincidental)
September 7 - Neither Rain nor Snow Day (Let's hope!)
September 8 - Pardon Day
September 9 - Teddy Bear Day
September 10 - Swap Ideas Day
September 11 - Make Your Bed Day (It's about time...)