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asTWISTED byDave: April 2005
::: Saturday, April 30, 2005 :::

Stick-fest
Rob Lewis doesn't update stickdeath.com very often anymore, but he's still got some good $#!t there. Check this out!
::: "Stick-fest" posted by Spook at 7:41 PM | :::


Redfaced professor made up scary story
Hmm, I should have guessed. [Link]
::: "Redfaced professor made up scary story" posted by Spook at 2:46 PM | :::

::: Thursday, April 28, 2005 :::

Lowbrow Moment
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)

The odd thing about summer is that hardly ever does your floor, let alone your shoe mat get wet from dragged in snow.... so when i noticed that my shoe mat was drenched and the shoes sitting in what i suspected to be a puddle of water, i knelt down.. took a 'wiff' and slapped the cat.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? My mind.
What was the last thing my TV did? Nothing yet.
How am I feeling? Why? Could be better. It could be warm and sunny out. I could be on holidays. The lake could be warm. The floating docks could be set up. I could be on vacation. Swimming. Drinking iced tea. Reading a book on the sand. Under an umbrella.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Cold, cloudy and there's a lot of work involved.
Random Comments: Just a reminder: Those street lights that are synchronised for 50/KPH are also synchronised for 100/KPH
::: "Lowbrow Moment" posted by Spook at 12:23 PM | :::

::: Wednesday, April 27, 2005 :::

Kitty Cannon (Flash Game)
Kitty Cannon [Link] This is fun. Shoot a cat down a long field, bouncing to it's bloody death somewhere down the line.

I've been playing Sly 2, Band of Thieves the past couple nights and this is a good way to wind down, after running around rooftops with a wily coon. I made it to episode 2 with a 100% on episode 1. Not bad for someone who just started. I wonder if there's a hard mode? I'll have to check. Later.
::: "Kitty Cannon (Flash Game)" posted by Spook at 9:20 PM | :::


It's snowing again
And the warmest it's going to feel outside today is freezing temperature.
this is what it looks like outside
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Moist - Leave It Alone
What was the last thing my TV did? Watched most of Ghost in the Shell.
How am I feeling? Why? Sleepy, I hit the snooze button a few times, heheh.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Cold, cloudy. I'm glad I'm ready for it today. This cold weather is supposed to last until the middle of next week and the snow until Friday evening.
Random Comments: Hmm... I've had that bravenet counter for exactly one year now. 6500 unique hits is alright.
::: "It's snowing again" posted by Spook at 8:00 AM | :::

::: Tuesday, April 26, 2005 :::

Shlinkfest
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Megadeth - Tears in a Vial
What was the last thing my TV did? I played some Sly 2 Band of Thieves. I bought it a long time ago, but just started it now. It's kinda fun.
How am I feeling? Why? Oh I don't know. I'm stuck inside because all my warm clothes are stored away and it's FUCKING SNOWING OUT THERE!!! I'm dealing with it.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Snow.... on April 26... FUCKING SNOW!!!
Random Comments: Remixes, acoustic and live MP3s are cool, but now my problem is I end up listening to the same song ten times in a row.
::: "Shlinkfest" posted by Spook at 10:34 PM | :::

::: Monday, April 25, 2005 :::

The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster
Darth Vader's blog!!! [Link] This is one funny blog that contains the musings of Darth Sidious/Emporer Palpatine's underling. I especially like the parts about his buggy left leg. I couldn't stop laughing I nearly pissed myself.
::: "The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster" posted by Spook at 12:26 PM | :::


This Week's Holidays
April 25 - National Zucchini Bread Day
April 26 - Hug an Australian Day
April 27 - Secretary's Day
April 28 - Kiss Your Mate Day
April 29 - Moment of Laughter Day
April 30 - Hairstyle Appreciation Day
May 1 - Mother Goose Day

I'm going to have to find an Aussie tommorrow... And again on Thursday, hehe (bad joke, I know, I know)

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Classical... Bach, I believe, on internet radio.
What was the last thing my TV did? Nothing.
How am I feeling? Why? Tired, cuz I didn't sleep much.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Going to be cold and drizzling.
Random Comments: The best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned

Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)

My friend and I were talking about mullets. Some guy pipes in, "what's a mullet? Some sort of haircut?"

My friend looks at him levelly and says, "it's an achy breaky big mistakey"

I shot coffee out of my nose.

It hurt.
::: "This Week's Holidays" posted by Spook at 8:07 AM | :::

::: Sunday, April 24, 2005 :::

Special Features on DVD
I love watching the special features on any DVD. Additional content to the movie is a natural extension that goes along with having a menu. I suppose it could be rooted deep in the days of theatre, where an opening show warmed up the audience then onto video with Beta and the "special presentations" after the movies. One of the things I like to do with DVD's before watching them these days is watching the movie's trailers. Doing that prepares me for the movie, because I'm not that interested in watching TV. It would be a miracle if I had heard of it beforehand and I have beem limiting myself to the types and genres of movies that I like to watch.

If I like what I read on the back of a DVD cover, I've seen a commercial by accident or I'm impressed by an certain actor's body of work, I'll rent or buy it. Otherwise I like action movies, stories with anti-heroes, comedies or movies with a collection of characters of which one or two I feel I can relate to.

"Special presentations" as they were called on video have come a long way into these DVD days. There's actor, writer or director interviews, alternate languages, subtitles, behind-the-scenes and making-of documentaries, music videos, trailers, actor and director biographies, uncut versions, feature-length commentaries, production notes, storyboard comparisons, concept art, PC and web content, DVD-Audio content, gag reels, deleted scenes, alternate scenes, alternate beginnings, alternate endings, actor auditions, screen tests, mini-movies, enhanced sound options, widescreen or regular ratio, scene selections, games and photo galleries. After all that, all I have to add is: What's your favourite DVD feature?

(My answer is in comments.)
::: "Special Features on DVD" posted by Spook at 2:00 PM | :::

::: Friday, April 22, 2005 :::

The "Click Here" Page
Click Here

That ain't right.... - Spook.
::: "The "Click Here" Page" posted by Spook at 6:43 PM | :::


Lowbrow Moment
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
If you try and turn off the lamp with the remote control - the malt liquor has worked...

Proceed directly to bed - so not cross go, do not collect your $200.

The morning is gonna suck

Searches my site turned up on, and they clicked on my blog:
Roadside Attractions
Sanka Emoticon
Pardon my planet
virtual bartender commands
axe feather girl
pictures on the apprentice youre fired
it lists complete of commands of virtual bartender 2 <-french search page
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia description

The virtual bartender 2 codes I posted also seems to be generating a lot of search traffic. Three dozen hits I figure - Spook.

LinkfestMy Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Fear Factory - Archetype
What was the last thing my TV did? Watched School of Rock.
How am I feeling? Why? Still tired. I just woke up, I think I'm going to be late for work this morning. I'm not looking forward to it anyway.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Cold, cloudy and cantankerous.
Random Comments: My roommate says, "I need to shave and use the shower. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird-ass quiz where he reveals the answer first..
::: "Lowbrow Moment" posted by Spook at 7:59 AM | :::

::: Thursday, April 21, 2005 :::

Earth Day
(From Earth Day Network)

Earth Day, which began in 1970, is now celebrated by millions of people worldwide. This year is its 35th anniversary, and around the world, hundreds of thousands of nongovernmental organizations, governments, teachers, and faith-based groups, among others, are making plans to declare that they are part of something extraordinary: a worldwide movement to protect our planet, our children, and our future.

Earth Day Network [Link]
Earth Day Canada [Link]
International Earth Day [Link]
Celebrate Earth Day - Every Day [Link]
Wilderness Society's Earth Day [Link]
Earth Day 2005 Online [Link]

Yeah well... let's get to the TWISTED part of my post. Here's some of my own commentary:

In area lakes in southern, in the spring, there used to be a phenomena that occurs at sunrise. Viewable only from the right spot when the sun was at the right angle and the temperature created a mist over the lake, your view of the treeline would blur. This haze effect is no longer possible because of pollution. That's one thing our forefathers had seen, saw it for its specialness, but we will never see.

Something else they saw, was the far side of Lake Ontario from the top of the CN Tower. Not anymore, you can thank smog for that one too. So I advise everyone to take the one tonne challenge, ride your bike, walk to school, skate to the store, whatever saves our ecosystem.

Here's to earth day, Cheers!

Remember, it's more than just cleaning up random garbage in your neighborhood. Go plant a tree or commit yourself to not use your vehicle so much! We've only got one planet, so let's take care of it. Or hurry up and terraform Mars.
::: "Earth Day" posted by Spook at 10:08 PM | :::


TWISTED NEWS: Generation Rx?
Generation Rx? Teens abusing prescriptions [Link] More from MSNBC.com.

Hmmm.... was I one? No, not to get high, but I sometimes did have access to prescription drugs and take them when something not as strong would have sufficed. I'm a wimp when sick and want the symptoms to go away. I'm not like I used to when I went a couple years without taking so much as one single regular strength pain killer.

And I even separated my shoulder that year.
::: "TWISTED NEWS: Generation Rx?" posted by Spook at 12:30 PM | :::


Relax Instantly
Yeah... [Link] By some Sympatico content partner.
::: "Relax Instantly" posted by Spook at 12:27 PM | :::


TWISTED NEWS
Chinese men measure up below the belt [Link] By MSNBC.com. Well, whoopty-doo.
::: "TWISTED NEWS" posted by Spook at 12:26 PM | :::


News article - Don't throw it away, give it away
Got clutter? Get rid of it. [Link] Even houses were given away...
::: "News article - Don't throw it away, give it away" posted by Spook at 12:25 PM | :::


Lowbrow Moment
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)

I am a determinist that ignores Quantum Physics.

I believe that everything happens because of reasons that exist because of reasons that exist because of reasons, and so forth.

Since I don't believe in free will, I can't regret shit.

Except Shaving while high. Damn, that was stu-u-upid.
::: "Lowbrow Moment" posted by Spook at 8:05 AM | :::

::: Wednesday, April 20, 2005 :::

TNT Fireworks
TNT Fireworks Wholesaler. [Link] Interact with fireworks and watch them in ten second clips. Kinda cool.
::: "TNT Fireworks" posted by Spook at 12:22 PM | :::


Luna City Arcade
Peter Hirschberg's Arcade Pics [Link] This guy got it right. He notes that the games are not for sale, but I wonder if he's accepting renters? I could have a serious joygasm in this room.
::: "Luna City Arcade" posted by Spook at 12:20 PM | :::


Playboy offering photo galleries for the PSP
TWISTED NEWS: Playboy Enterprises will announce plans Wednesday to offer nude and non-nude photo galleries that have been specifically formatted for viewing on Sony's Portable PlayStation. [Link] HAHA! Portable porn... what a funny idea. I'm guessing these guys haven't tried holding a psp with one hand yet.
::: "Playboy offering photo galleries for the PSP" posted by Spook at 12:18 PM | :::


2 NEW VIRTUAL BARTENDER 2 SECRET COMMANDS
1 - go psycho

2 - choke the chicken

Have fun with it!

Linkfest - Let's start this post with a funny video.My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Lacuna Coil - Stars
What was the last thing my TV did? Played some Brothers in Arms: Road to Hill 30 on PS2
How am I feeling? Why? Rested. I had lots of sleep last night. My insomnia problem has gone away for the timebeing.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Sunny, but cold. I'm staying in tonight.
Random Comments: A clear conscience is usually a sign of a bad memory - Steven Wright
::: "2 NEW VIRTUAL BARTENDER 2 SECRET COMMANDS" posted by Spook at 7:57 AM | :::

::: Tuesday, April 19, 2005 :::

Lowbrow Moment
Goodbye Kitty(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)

my first semester in college:

For an in-class final essay for a composition course, the teacher wrote three topics on the board, one of which was "Should parents spank?". The response from a student:

"What, each other?"

The teacher added "their kids" to the question without saying a word.

Biking Update:
I made it to Frog Rapids bridge from my place and back in 39 minutes today, with some wicked winds coming back. Go me! It took me a month to get my time under 40 minutes last summer, but less than a week this year. I'm such a proud fat ass, someone give me a pat on the back and a congratulatory greeting card!

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Marilyn Manson - The Beautiful People (Live from "The Last Tour On Earth")
What was the last thing my TV did? Nothing, but I'm going to watch The House of the Flying Daggers pretty soon.
Here's the movie homepage: [Link]
How am I feeling? Why? Pretty good, I'm relaxing right now.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Windy, kinda cool and cloudy.
Random Comments: My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, and I said, "No, but I want a regular banana for later, so yeah."
::: "Lowbrow Moment" posted by Spook at 5:21 PM | :::


Twisted story #15
True? I don't know, I wasn't there. These are made up.
Feel free to e-mail me one sometime.

I grew up in the woods and I had a naive view of the world (still do, actually) Anyway, I wouldn't use catsup and actually frowned when anyone used it when I was just a toddler. And then I learned to read and suddenly used it and loved it. My dad asked me why I changed my mind and I told him "Well, I always heard my brothers call this 'catsup' and I thought it had cats in it, then when I learned the words on the label I didn't see 'cats' on there and now I won't feel bad using it."

LinkfestMy Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Marilyn Manson - Slutgarden
What was the last thing my TV did? Nothing. Nadda. Zero. Zitch.
How am I feeling? Why? Pretty good, I had a good sleep last night.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Rainy and not too warm. I want to go for a bike ride every day, but with this weather it looks like I can not.
Random Comments: I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
::: "Twisted story #15" posted by Spook at 8:10 AM | :::

::: Monday, April 18, 2005 :::

Smoke on the Water
Lyrics to Deep Purple's classic:

We all came out to montreux
On the lake geneva shoreline
To make records with a mobile
We didn’t have much time
Frank zappa and the mothers
Were at the best place around
But some stupid with a flare gun
Burned the place to the ground
Smoke on the water, fire in the sky

They burned down the gambling house
It died with an awful sound
Funky claude was running in and out
Pulling kids out the ground
When it all was over
We had to find another place
But swiss time was running out
It seemed that we would lose the race
Smoke on the water, fire in the sky

We ended up at the grand hotel
It was empty cold and bare
But with the rolling truck stones thing just outside
Making our music there
With a few red lights and a few old beds
We make a place to sweat
No matter what we get out of this
I know we’ll never forget
Smoke on the water, fire in the sky

I went for a ride on my bike after work. I went to Frog Rapids Bridge and back, taking shortcuts to see how they compare to my old routes, but I have to say the two most interesting things were 1 - it took me 45 minutes total, 7 minutes slower than last year's better times and 5 minutes slower than my average times. And; 2 - The lake ice hasn't completely broken up so there was fog over the lake. I immediately thought of Deep Purple [Link] and their song. (Lyrics above.) It looked pretty cool, but I was riding so I just kept peddling away. Although I wished I had my camera, I really should take that thing with me when I go out, I see such cool things but I'm not sure I have the skill to photograph what I see. Oh well, all in good time. - Spook.

Linkfest - I need to post links more consistently, da?My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Metallica - The Unnamed Feeling | Lyrics: [Link]
What was the last thing my TV did?
How am I feeling? Why?
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." There was a thunderstorm today, but it cleared up so I could ride my bike. It's nice right now, but we have another thunderstorm in store for Sioux Lookout this evening. That sucks. I'm staying in.
Random Comments: I'm planning a post for Earth Day, look for it wednesday or thursday.
::: "Smoke on the Water" posted by Spook at 6:27 PM | :::


This Week's Holidays
Just in case you want something to celebrate, spread the fun!
April 18 - Pet Owners Independence Day
April 19 - National Garlic Day
April 20 - Look Alike Day
April 21 - Kindergarten Day
April 22 - National Jelly Bean Day
April 23 - Lover's Day
April 24 - Pig in a Blanket Day

Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
A coworker once asked me if I've ever been bumhopping.

I asked, "What the hell is bumhopping?"

he said,

"It's when you find a bum, and start running toward him really fast, and at the last possible moment, jump over him. scares the shit out of them."

The sad thing is, I thought it sounded like a really good idea at the time.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Slipknot - Opiom of the People
What was the last thing my TV did? I attempted to capture General Song on Mercenaries yesterday.
How am I feeling? Why? Kinda tired, I stayed up late last night and woke up early. My fault. I'm also at the end of Mercenaries. Capturing General Song is one hell of a fight, I attemted a few times and I can make it to the nuclear missle launches, but the soldiers in there keep killing me. I also went for a nice bike ride yesterday and while I was at Frog Rapids bridge I stopped for a bit to watch ice break off and float by. It was surreal in that lighting because the dark water and reflecting sun off the ice made it look like the ice itself was made of light. I wish I had my camera at the time.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Partly cloudy with rainy periods today, ending with a thunderstorm later in the afternoon. It looks like I'll either be biking in the rain, or playing Mercenaries.
Random Comments: hangingoutitude?
::: "This Week's Holidays" posted by Spook at 7:53 AM | :::

::: Sunday, April 17, 2005 :::

Destroyer of worlds
snarl

::: "Destroyer of worlds" posted by Spook at 5:58 AM | :::

::: Saturday, April 16, 2005 :::

Twisted story #14
True? This one is.
Feel free to e-mail me one sometime.

I was just a boring code monkey that made boring webpages for boring companies. I had been one of the few people at the office that week to put in five straight 18-to-20 hour days, counting my college classes and commutes. I went home Friday night immediately after recovering from the shock of my coffee screaming at me "I'm sick and tired of you taking my credit for my work!!!"

LinkfestMy Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Disturbed - Remember
What was the last thing my TV did? I watched Akira [Link] This is such a geek movie, I don't know why there aren't more fansites, I had to use the imdb link :~~~^(
How am I feeling? Why? Tired, I didn't get much sleep last night, plus I was out late last night... this morning... whatever.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." T'was nice today. I hope tommorrow is the same, but less windy.
Random Comments: When getting immunizations, the whole process would be a lot more fun if they used a dart gun and gave you a ten second head start.
::: "Twisted story #14" posted by Spook at 8:37 PM | :::

::: Friday, April 15, 2005 :::

HTTP in tha House
Lyrics by: http://davidmorris.myknet.org [Link]

i br
cb border adar
gif alt free site
anishinawbe from sandy lake sleight
davidmorris myknet org mit students
complete this mess
www stortroopers com fashion
br font size passion

br strong what s
service code div dress
it s
blogspot com address
b get a twisted link
color c e ed font zinc
verdana font size pt
living a href http www li

DAVIDMORRIS DOT MYKNET DOT ORG IN THA HOUSE
DAVIDMORRIS DOT MYKNET DOT ORG IN THA HOUSE
DAVIDMORRIS DOT MYKNET DOT ORG IN THA HOUSE
DAVIDMORRIS DOT MYKNET DOT ORG
::: "HTTP in tha House" posted by Spook at 6:33 PM | :::


MIT students pull prank on conference
From CNN.com - MIT students pull prank on conference - Apr 14, 2005 [Link] I wish I could have had the programming knowledge to pull this off in my heyday.
::: "MIT students pull prank on conference" posted by Spook at 12:23 PM | :::


News - Judge Sentences Spammer to Nine Years
TWISTED NEWS: YEAH YOU F#C&*RRR!!!! DIE DIE DIE!!! [Link]

BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Rot you scumbag!
::: "News - Judge Sentences Spammer to Nine Years" posted by Spook at 7:17 AM | :::


nintendo themes, a cappella
TWISTED VID: a choir performance of classic nintendo songs [Link]

I'm sure you're wondering why I gave this its own post. I'm not. It's just that good. I've seen it linked around other places and never gave it much thought, but I finally watched it and it's a pretty good stage performance. You've got Super Mario Bros, Zelda, Mortal Combat, etc..
::: "nintendo themes, a cappella" posted by Spook at 7:09 AM | :::


Pass it on
g'head piss me off
Yesterday left me kinda hostile. Heheh

Linkfest Today's post may get me kicked off of K-Net. I hope not - Spook.

Dave on a good dayOther Virtual Bartender 2 commands (codes):
- banana (= give me head)
- bend over
- strip
- kiss (= make out)
- can i have your number?
- fight
- booty
- dance (= jump)
- kiss security guy
- beer
- orgasm
and think (inside joke ;))

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? The sun is slowly rising, there's nothing else.
What was the last thing my TV did? I played some more Mercenaries, that game is getting harder, and therefore, better.
How am I feeling? Why? I'm still tired, but I feel like being a brat. Today may suck.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Still kinda dark out, I filled this in before ten after six this morning.
Random Comments: Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
::: "Pass it on" posted by Spook at 6:42 AM | :::

::: Thursday, April 14, 2005 :::

Lowbrow Moment
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
My two dogs erupted in a fit of unprovoked barking.

I yelled at them and they shut up.

I said to myself out loud, "They will never stop barking," with my best Sean Connery voice. Which isn't very good.

I kept repeating it over and over again as I walked around the house.

I stopped when I noticed that my dogs were staring at me funny.

I don't know if I'm funny or pathetic.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Amorphis - Nightfall
What was the last thing my TV did? I got past a mission on Mercenaries that I've been stuck on for a few days. YEAH!!!
How am I feeling? Why? It's almost the weekend, it's almost the weekend, it's almost the weekend, it's almost the weekend, it's almost the weekend, it's almost the weekend....
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Partly cloudy and will be agreeable like yesterday.Random Comments: Last evening's bike ride was nice. There's still snow and ice on the walking trail, but I took it easy.
::: "Lowbrow Moment" posted by Spook at 8:10 AM | :::

::: Wednesday, April 13, 2005 :::

Wednesday? Why not Friday? *whine*
Linkfest Not too many today, I'm still waking up - Spook.My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Amorphous - Better Unborn
What was the last thing my TV did? Dunno... wasn't here for it.
How am I feeling? Why? *yawn* I've been waking up several times during the past few nights. Someone get me a coffee with a shot of irish creme, a shot of espresso and one teaspoon of cream, please.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Going to be mostly cloudy and warm, but it's close to freezing temperature right now.
Random Comments: "I've seen the error of my ways and I've decided to start being more respectful and pleasant with people. Hey BOZO I'm talking to you!"
::: "Wednesday? Why not Friday? *whine*" posted by Spook at 8:08 AM | :::

::: Tuesday, April 12, 2005 :::

My Usual Self-Questionnaire
What's playing? Jakalope - Pretty Life
What was the last thing my TV did? Played some Star Wars: Battlefront. The Galaxy is MINE!
How am I feeling? Why? Tiredish - woke up at night a few times
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Going to be okay.
Random Comments: One penguin said to the other "my yoga trainer said it would give me longer, sexier muscles and that didn't work for me either!"
::: "My Usual Self-Questionnaire" posted by Spook at 8:06 AM | :::


Twisted story #13
True? UUhhh yeah, this one is.
Feel free to e-mail me one sometime.

And I told my supervisor after her stupid comment: "Thinking outside of the box doesn't work. Thinking inside the box doesn't work. I think we've got defective boxes." I was just a code monkey that made generic webpages, but I was untouchable.

This Week's Holidays (A day late, as usual)
April 11 - Barbershop Quartet Day
April 12 - Big Wind Day
April 13 - Blame Somebody Else Day
April 14 - National Pecan Day
April 15 - Rubber Eraser Day
April 16 - National Stress Awareness Day
April 17 - National Cheeseball Day

Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)

Cabbie story #1:

Chicago, coming home from a conference.

Miscalculated how heavy the traffic would be at 4:00.

Downtown to O'Hare...

Road work...

5:00 Flight...

Explained our dilemma to Robert...our Kenyan cab driver.

Most amazing cab ride we've ever had...I didn't know a cab could drive the yellow line between lanes of traffic.

Made it with minutes to spare.

I tipped him heavily.

If I ever want to pull a bank heist, I'm hiring Robert to do the driving.
::: "Twisted story #13" posted by Spook at 5:48 AM | :::

::: Monday, April 11, 2005 :::

storTroopers - make yourself!
I've had a little fun here, [Link] they have three categories, both for boys and girls (kinda). There's Classic (boys&girls), All Goth, and Fashion Animal (boys&girls). Here's my three:

[Boys] [Girls]
[Goth]
[Boys] [Girls]
And yes, I'm bored right now.
::: "storTroopers - make yourself!" posted by Spook at 6:00 PM | :::


Strong Bad E-Mail #128
Lappy 486 [Link] For your viewing pleasure. In this e-mail, s.b. explores different types of rampages.
::: "Strong Bad E-Mail #128" posted by Spook at 5:23 PM | :::


Custom Made Signs by NeonCentral
I didn't order one. I just saved the image below. I don't get so many hits that I have a big ego about this website anyway. Besides that, I won't pay their ridiculous price, which their online calculator gave me. I used to have a budweiser neon light that only cost me $75.00, even after taxes. [Link]
Residential Package $25.00
Red 34" x 23" with Border $233.57
White 3" Block "asTwisted" $109.53
White 3" Block "byDave" $73.02
Blue 2" Block "#1 Stranger" $119.60
2610 Secondary Power Supply $51.50
Sub-Total $612.22
Shipping* $84.97
Taxes $0.00
Total $697.19
::: "Custom Made Signs by NeonCentral" posted by Spook at 5:08 PM | :::


Twisted story #12
True? Maybe. These are probably made up.
Feel free to e-mail me one sometime.

Working at a technical help call centre. I came up with a gem of a line to lighten the mood with cranky callers: "If nothing else works, try falling in love. That usually makes everything better."
::: "Twisted story #12" posted by Spook at 6:09 AM | :::

::: Sunday, April 10, 2005 :::

Hah! Yoda is Stoned!

Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith [Link] In Theatres May 19, 2005. I'm probably not going to see it until the 26th though. Sux 2b me

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Our Lady Peace - Starseed
What was the last thing my TV did? Watched Ong Bak
How am I feeling? Why? Alive. Today was restful except for the weightlifting I did. I did a full body workout so bits & pieces are sore or still exhausted.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Cloudy and warm. Patches of rain, but nothing to complain about really.
Random Comments: Sitting at my desk one day I wondered if there were intelligent life in other cubicles.
::: "Hah! Yoda is Stoned!" posted by Spook at 6:42 PM | :::


This can't wait
I think I busted a nut looking at Gibby's Game Room: [Link]
::: "This can't wait" posted by Spook at 12:47 PM | :::


Twisted story #11
True? Maybe. It's either the truth, a lie or a fuzzy memory.
Feel free to e-mail me one sometime.

When I was in college, my main four food groups were water, coffee beans, sugar and cream.
::: "Twisted story #11" posted by Spook at 12:20 PM | :::

::: Friday, April 08, 2005 :::

Linkfest
Because Twisted wouldn't be twisted if it didn't show my surfing habits. - Spook.
Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)
When I watch TV, my eyes glaze over and my tongue sticks out, and all of the muscles in by body become limp and lifeless. It takes an incredible amount of energy to break me out of this state. Once, I completely missed a five-point-something earthquake because I was watching TV. I'm pretty sure it's because I grew up without TV - I was not trained to cope with the excessive stimulus from a young age like most of my peers.

Anyway, someone once took a picture of me in my TV-watching stupor, and showed it to me. Wow, that was embarrassing. I'll never be able to run for president!

Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)

I didn't have anything to write with in my bag except one pastel. a bright pick pastel, in the bottom of my bag, half covered with black residue from who knows what else what in my bag. the teacher was passing out the tests. it was too late to ask for a pencil, he's the type of teacher that would have thrown me out of class if I'd asked for a pen that late. so out comes the pick pastel. I got 98.5% on that test. when I got back the test, it was just a smudge of pink and black ink. I tell you, that mark was the LAST thing I expected. I wanna be a teacher now so I can screw with kids minds too.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire. (Thursday's entry, I had trouble with blogger - D)
What's playing? Skid Row - I Remember You, 2003 version. It rocks.
What was the last thing my TV did? I captured the Ace of Hearts on Mercenaries, WOOOOO!!! YEAH!!!!
How am I feeling? Why? Not sure... I'm not sure why... I just am. I've got no motivation, marginal energy and I think I gotta pee. Be right back.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Spring-y? It was nice out earlier.
Random Comments: One penguin said to the other "low fat diets don't work. I eat fish every day and my butt still drags on the ground!"
::: "Linkfest" posted by Spook at 12:13 PM | :::

::: Thursday, April 07, 2005 :::

Lowbrow Moment
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)

"here's your mail... hmm its opened. It wasn't when i put it in my car. maybe someone broke into my car and opened your mail. Thats a federal offense isnt it? wow, opening someone's mail is worse than grand theft auto."

"even worse if you broke into a car, drove over state lines and then opened someone's mail."

"yeah right as you're crossing state lines."

"yeah, with a llama in the car...a llama who's shooting open the mail --with an unregistered shotgun."

"yeah, a llama that youre fishing off the back of while youre driving and opening mail."

"and youre crossing the lines with a small child in the car--who's doing crack."

"a small child who isnt secured in a safety seat."

"yeah, heh heh."
::: "Lowbrow Moment" posted by Spook at 7:55 AM | :::


Tears

::: "Tears" posted by Spook at 2:57 AM | :::


Twisted story #10
True? I don't know, I wasn't there. Some of these are made up.
Feel free to e-mail me one sometime.

I sent a gift basket to my girlfriend's mother for mother's day many years ago. I sent the basket filled with chocolates, sausages, cheesecake, a bottle of whiskey and a carton of cigarettes. The girlfriend and I broke up shortly after hearing about it. The mother still bugs me to give her daughter a call whenever I see her in public. Take that, woman's intuition! Score 1 for my methodology of pacifist utilitarianism.
::: "Twisted story #10" posted by Spook at 2:00 AM | :::

::: Sunday, April 03, 2005 :::

Cocktail Recipes
Recipe: Rusty Nail
Because people still have to ask "what's in that?"

3/4 oz. Scotch
1/4 oz. Drambuie
Garnish with cherry

Pour ingredients over ice cubes.

Recipe: Scorpion
Because people still have to ask "what's in that?"

1/2 oz. White rum
1/4 oz. Amarette
1/4 oz. Brandy
3 oz. Orange juice
2 oz. Lemon juice
Garnish orange or cherry

Blend ingredients along with ice cubes. Serve over ice.

Recipe: White Russian
Because people still have to ask "what's in that?"

1/2 oz. Vodka
1/2 oz. Kahlua
2 oz. Cream
Garnish with cherry

Pour ingredients over ice.

Recipe: Colorado Bulldog
Because people still have to ask "what's in that?"

I grabbed this concoction from a magazine while I was in college. It's great if you don't want to drink too much. - Spook

2 White russian cocktails, strained with no ice.
1 can of Coke or Pepsi.

Prepare the two white russians. Pour the white russians, ice and all, into the mason, then the can of coke. Serve with or without more ice cubes. Maybe play a drinking game with the cherries. Makes enough for three to six cocktail glasses, depending on individual preferences for ice.

Slave Tattoo

What do you think?
Should I get this on the back of my neck?

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? The Smashing Pumpkins - Soul Power
What was the last thing my TV did? My cousin watched Hitch, with Will Smith and the King of Queens guy.
How am I feeling? Why? TIIIIRRRED. If you don't ask, I won't tell. If you ask, I won't tell. Go away, I wanna go to bed!
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." GREAT! It was warm as heck today. I took an early morning walk and an afternoon bike ride. It was very pleasant.
Random Comments: "How hard could it be to write a novel? All the words are right there in the dictionary. You just have to put them in the right order."
::: "Cocktail Recipes" posted by Spook at 8:50 PM | :::


Twisted story #9
True? Possibly...
Feel free to e-mail me one sometime.

And I told my supervisor "You want ME to think outside the box? Since I've been here I've been the one who thinks farthest oustide this stupid box. Any farther and I'd be hallucinating. Get out there and score me some drugs or get the hell away and let me do my work!" And, I was just a stupid code monkey making webpages for other people.

Lowbrow Moment:
(I steal these, not experience them. But, I may have some empathy for them)

I made her favourite Thai dish. She was spooning it into her bowl, muttering: "I love cilantro! I love green onions!" She's a carnivore, and has never been particularly famous for liking vegetables.

Me: "Eh, cilantro and green onions are... well, they're GREEN."

She, instantly: "Yeah, but they don't mean it..."

Searches my site turned up on, and they clicked on my blog:
intelligent yet arrogant people <--sounds like me?
star wars fan club ontario <--geek.
armadillo race jesus darth vader <--what?
naked surfing <--uuuuh...
highway men <--he mispelled the villiage people
silent lucidity meaning <--I like that song too

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Silence. I'm too distracted these days with the state of the world and the direction of my life.
What was the last thing my TV did? Watched Constantine. Don't ask.
How am I feeling? Why? Restless for many reasons. Someone help me. Only complete exhaustion can make me go to sleep these nights. I wish I didn't know or I wish I knew different stuff and were blissfully ignorant. What a curse, someone heeeeelllp meeeee!!!!
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." I don't know. I don't care.
Random Comments: Okay, I got rid of the weekly quizzes... I just couldn't be bothered so I'm just going to point them out with "TWISTED QUIZ" or something of the same nature. Damn, I should just make little text-sized gif files and make tags for my blog. Nah, I'd never use them. Any comments on the possibility?
::: "Twisted story #9" posted by Spook at 5:29 AM | :::

::: Friday, April 01, 2005 :::

Dave is falling asleep


It's been a long, hard and kind of audacious week I've just experienced. *gasp* A big word while I'm yawning so big my jaw may pop out. I'll post something tommorrow when the ambition hits me, sometime after writing my memoirs and accepting a nobel peace prize.

I feel like I should put something entertaining here...
Damn guilt.

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent; they don't listen; they don't come in when you call; they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked. Then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Oh yeah, shouts out to fans of my homepage who I met at the bars earlier this week. You know who you are. And just for a reminder, here's the post you and your friends mentioned: The Guys' Rules [Link]
::: "Dave is falling asleep" posted by Spook at 9:50 PM | :::