(From Dave Barry)

"I cannot overemphasize the importance of good grammar."

What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: "Bad grammar is the leading cause of slow, painful death in North America," or "Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II."

Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough
you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

Linkfest:Wikis, stuff to look at, mountain biking and miscellaneous

• SeedWiki [Link]
• zwiki.org [Link]
• ZZO38Computer Wiki [Link]
• Riters.com [Link] An online document collaboration service. [POST EDIT: It's free, you just need to register - Dave.]
• Meatball Wiki [Link]
• Royal Ontario Museum [Link]
• Donnie Darko [Link] The coolest movie website ever. Doesn't even mention the movie, just levels.
• Writing Prompts [Link] For writers by Reader's Digest.
• Mountain Biking dot com [Link] The Magazine.
• Mountain Bike Action [Link] Magazine.
• Extreme Mountain Biking [Link] Another magazine.
• International Mountain Biking Association [Link] Where do I sign up?
• Mountain Bike Magazine [Link] Did I link to this already? Um.. nope.
• Lowrider Bicycle Magazine [Link] I ran into this while searching for mountain biking sites... very cool bikes.
• Asparagus Pee, Gooblek & Other Neat Stuff [Link] Blog!
• Clumsy Crooks [Link] These people expect to be smart enough to be a criminal?
• I Am Bored [Link] The Official Website.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Micheal Silvestri - Minuettes I & II, by Bach. Played on guitar, it's very relaxing.
What was the last TV show or movie you watched? Parts of Eurotrip... guess which. I'm gonna watch the entire movie later on Movie Fansite [Link] Michelle T's Website [Link] She's 18 now and has seemingly outgrown her Dawn role in Buffy The Vampire Slayer [Link]
What was the last thing you threw away? Table scraps.
How am I feeling? Why? Doing good. I finally got a proper rest last night after a few weeks.
Complete this: "The Weather Is..." Cloudy and it was raining earlier. Wow, I am in such a good mood.

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Why have I been too busy to update?

Playoffs.

GO FLAMES!!

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One!

One day in chem class, the teacher was talking about how fat is stored in the body and how ppl gain weight. Getting a little smile on his face, he said:

"If overweight people want to lose weight, all they need to do is get off their fatty acids."

Say it outloud if you don't get it.

Two!

We went to a diner for lunch before rehearsal.

Point of information: diner-lingo for "cancel" is 86.

J first thought she wanted the special (tuna salad) then changed her mind to the chicken club.

The little Asian girl behind the counter yelled "69 the tuna sandwich!".

I've never seen anyone blush that hard that fast in my life.

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That means "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am." - Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Here's something to do: Try reading it all out loud using its rules - D.

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by Mark Twain from William Safire's Rules for Writers:

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.

Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.

Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

Remember to never split an infinitive. The passive voice should never be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Verbs have to agree with their subjects. Proofread carefully to see if you words out. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. A writer must not shift your point of view. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.) Don't overuse exclamation marks!! Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing. Always pick on the correct idiom. The adverb always follows the verb. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.

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