"Ooo, pretty..." as said by my niece.

Sex Is fun [7/8]

Top 3 things to say after sex:
Are you sure this was you're first time?
Gotta cigarette?
Wanna do it again?

Excerpt from Stanislaw Lem's "Cyberiad"

Everyone knows that dragons don't exist. But while this simplistic formulation may satisfy the layman, it does not suffice for the scientific mind. The School of Higher Neantical Nillity is in fact wholly unconcerned with what does exist. Indeed, the banality of existence has been so amply demonstrated, there is no need for us to discuss it any further here. The brilliant Cerebron, attacking the problem analytically, discovered three distinct kinds of dragon: the mythical, the chimerical, and the purely hypothetical. They were all, one might say, nonexistent, but each nonexisted in an entirely different way ... -

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Disturbed's "Awaken"
How am I feeling? Why? Apologetic. I haven't been updating my homepage and I'm making up for it with some posts
Website Reco? Brains In a Vat [Link] While you were sleeping last night, an evil scientist sneaked into your room, anesthetized you, kidnapped you, and took you back to her laboratory. Once there, the scientist removed your brain, put it in a vat, and hooked it up to a sophisticated computer with a remarkable program that allows it to feed your nerve endings signals that duplicate the sensory impulses that usually inform your brain about what your body is doing and where you are. You wake up in what looks like your body, in what looks like your bed, put on what appear to be your slippers, and go about what appears to be your normal life.

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The T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. Project. [Link] T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. stands for Tests With Inorganic Noxious Kakes In Extreme Situations. It is a series of experiments conducted during finals week, 1995, at Rice University. The tests were designed to determine the properties of that incredible food, the Twinkie. Here's a short summary of what they discovered:

• Twinkies don't burn well unless doused in alcohol. Then they make good fires.
  
• Twinkies in water expand to near twice their size and look really gross.
  
• When they are pureed Twinkies can be compressed much. Are mostly air.
  
• Do Twinkies conduct electricity? Run lots of current through them. Very resistive.
  
• Dropped off of sixth floor Twinkies are not injured much. Just a small fissure.
  
• Microwaved Twinkies emit a great deal of smoke and smell very bad.
  

Excerpt from National Lampoon's "Deteriorada"

Remember that whatever misfortune may be your lot,
it could only be worse in Cleveland.

Excerpt from Douglas Adams' "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

There is a theory that states: "If anyone finds out what the universe is for it will disappear and be replaced by something more bazaarly inexplicable."

There is another theory that states: "This has already happened ...."

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Amorphis' "Too Much To See"
How am I feeling? Why? Human. Thursday I was out and yesterday I was hungover. Anything close to me or loud made my headache worse so I'm quite glad I feel human again.
Website Reco? The NONVERBAL DICTIONARY of GESTURES, SIGNS & BODY LANGUAGE CUES [Link] Everything in here has been researched by anthropologists, archaeologists, biologists, linguists, psychiatrists, psychologists, semioticians, and others who have studied human communication from a scientific point of view. I was only wondering what "antigravity signs" [Link] meant because my brain decided to push that phrase to the front of my mind and I couldn't remember where I learned it.

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Top three things NOT to say before having sex:
Is this gunna hurt?
Sure....I've done this thousands of times...
Are you sure it's in there?

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Brent Moffatt from Winnipeg, Canada, pierces himself with surgical needles as he sets a Guinness record for most body piercings, in Montreal, December 13, 2003. Moffatt inserted 900 needles into his legs to break his previous record of 702 piercings.
Previous record? Impressed, I am.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Marilyn Manson's "This Is The New S**t"
How am I feeling? Why? Hungry, because it's lunchtime.
Website Reco? The Viewable With Any Browser Campaign [Link] Netscape Only? Internet Explorer Only? These people are sick of those tags.

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Top three things to say before having sex:
I love you (but only if you mean it)
Rock my world
Let's get ready to RUMBLE...

From Monday morning:

I'm such an instigator for confusion.

This morning I called a branch office in my organization and someone picked up the phone before it could ring and I heard "*beep* *beep* *boop* *bip* *beep* *boop* *bip* Hello?" So I said, "Hello, you have the wrong number." We had a good laugh because she had recognized my voice.

That, on a Monday morning, has got to make the week start a little less harsh.

Excerpt from Stanislaw Lem's "Cyberiad"

Cancel me not -- for what then shall remain?
Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes,
A root or two, a torus and a node:
The inverse of my verse, a null domain.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Lollipop Lust Kill's "Everything, I"
How am I feeling? Why? Feeling good. I'm back on my exercise wagon with a full-body workout last night and 20 minutes on my recumbant bike this morning. And breakfast is tasting pretty good. I hope work today is as good as this. I had been out of the weightroom for the past two months because I had pulled a tendon in my back in early November. I applied for a membership extension because I had stayed away from the Rec Centre all that time, I hope it's approved.
Website Reco? Dreems [Link] You have to try this, this is so funny when you're mildly intoxicated. It's one drawing... no wait. It's 25 drawings.. Umm... It's 150 drawings. I think.

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They make a wicked pair.


Other Storm Related Pictures

SCARY PIX OF HURRICANE CLAUDETTE - 1 [Link]

STORM FRONT COMING IN! [Link]

SCARY PIX OF HURRICANE CLAUDETTE - 2 [Link]

WORLDS ONLY 100% ACCURATE WEATHER STATION [Link]

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Nothing, just the tapping and clicking of my keyboard.
How am I feeling? Why? Tired, I'm going to sleep quite soon.
Website Reco? Wawatay [Link] Our local biweekly news periodical. (I told you I was tired, I'm even too tired to get an original link - Dave)

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My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Filter's "I'm Not The Only One"
How am I feeling? Why? Feeling pretty good about myself. I just added tables to my posts and applied it to my entire website. PROGRESS!! I still want to mess around with the header and description, but that can wait. I'm also dreading going outside because it's so damn cold.
Website Reco? Sioux Lookout's weather forecast [Link] as by Environment Canada. It's one of the sites I visit in the morning to decide how warm or waterproof to dress that day. The other one is Weather.Com's Travel Forecast for Sioux Lookout, Canada. [Link] This one has a forecast every three hours on 12, 3, 6 and 9 on the "today/tonight" link.

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Top 10 Places NOT to have sex:
In the movies
In a car... WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING!
In front of all of your friends
In a phonebooth
In your best friend's bed
At Grandma's house
At school
In your dirty basement
In the street
ON-LINE

God did not create the world in 7 days;
he screwed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter.

We here at sorrycow are dedicated to getting 1,000,000 signatures in a reasonable timespan. At our current rate of signatures, it will take us 45 years to reach this goal! I was #22,024 to sign the apology. My note doesn't help much. Here's the e-mail I got back after signing the apology:

Hey dave!

Thanks for saying "sorry, cow" to all those cows you have
consumed, drank, and worn.

As soon as we read your apology to a cow, we will email you and let
you know. It might be a few months or years from now when the list is
big enough. So, help us do that faster by telling your friends to
come apologize!

Thanks,
-Sorry, Cow Staff
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Finger Eleven's "Good Times"
How am I feeling? Why? I'm a little tired but otherwise in a pretty good mood.
Website Reco? Visuals: NASA Releases Dazzling Images from New Space Telescope [Link] They Really are dazzling.

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Dog? [Link]
Cat? [Link]
Mate? [Link]
Lover? [Link]

The problem with doing something right the first time is nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Yuri's Kigurumi. [Link] This is Yuri and Yuri does Kigurumi. It's dressing up as an anime character. Yuri's webcam really freaked me out. [Link] I saw the webcam before the website so... I didn't know what the hell I was looking at. It was 3 a.m. I was tired and there's this living anime woman on her webcam. I just couldn't stop looking and then I clicked on her link and then...
My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Nothing at the moment. I feel like I want to listen to something slow playing to groove to before I go to sleep.
How am I feeling? Why? I'm kind of bored, I was at a club earlier and socializing a bit. I was mainly haning out with my buddy but people were sitting with us every now and then.
Website Reco? I AM BORED [Link] This is the most non-monotone declaration of boredom and rambling thoughts on boredom that I have ever seen. Even on K-Net!

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Top 10 Places to have sex:
In your bed
In your parents bed
In a car
On a washing machine, while running
In a hot tub
On a beach, down in the sand
On a comfy couch with the TV on
On a waterbed
A plane bathroom
In the rain

Tussman's Law: Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? The Simpson's on FOX, it's a pretty funny episode. But it's a little preachy.
How am I feeling? Why? I'm kinda buzzing. I've had five drinks here at my friend's place. What a nice Sunday. Oh no, Bernie Mac is on, it kind of sucks now. What happened to his "summummabitch" jokes? It's all gone!
Website Reco? This looks like fun [Link] The Rowing Bike! Yes, we all know how rowing burns more calories than biking, but... That guy in the animation (just click the link) at the top left looks plain silly. I wonder how long before champion rowers enter in the Tour de France?

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(I came up with this because I felt I needed some sort of goal in mind to keep it interesting. I didn't want to pigeonhole my website, but oh well, that's okay. I was getting lots of questions anyway. I'll be posting this manifesto as a separate page soon to emphasize its importance to Twisted.)

DEFINITION

man·i·fes·to

A public declaration of principles, policies, or intentions,

especially of a political nature.

All I want to do with my K-net Homepage webspace is present a blog that provides diversions that require some level of thinking. Not your normal thinking, not at all: Twisted requires a mind open to different ideas and viewpoints.
After all, I'm not normal. Also, I would like to include a chance for visitors to give their input along the way, should they think I've missed something.

Have a nice visit!

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Sex is:
like Nokia (connecting people)
like Nike (Just do it)
like Pepsi (ask for more)
like Coca Cola (Enjoy)
like me (too good to be true)

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Megadeth's "Use The Man"
How am I feeling? Why? Dreading this cold I have to take a walk in. It's -25 and -31 in the wind. It's gonna suck. I'm also kind of happy because I surfed for a solid two hours and found about 80 web pages or sites I can link to here in posts.[
Website Reco? seamless city [Link] "Seamless City is a continuous visual image of the city made up of sequential photos of a walk through the city shot from a pedestrian point of view. Each image is visually connected to the next as the objects are in the real world." It's a 30 mile long continuous portrait of San Francisco. I wonder if I should try this with Sioux Lookout, one end of Front Street to the other? (I can see my house from here!)

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