Here's an ice sculpture in Germany lit up by a purple shaded light. The red thing on the left is a woman about to take a picture of it.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? John Lennon's "Across The Universe" covered by Fiona Apple.
How am I feeling? Why? Feeling refresh from my holidays. It looks like it's going to be a good day. Don't ruin it!!
Website Reco? Lee's Useless Super-Hero Generator [Link] Cuz you don't have time to be creative on your own. What did I get? This:
The Brazen Whirl Uobx'fwolo
Power(s): Enhanced senses, Telekinesis, Hypnosis
Source of powers: Extra-terrestrial mutant gadgets
Weapon: Whirl Blunderbuss
Transportation: Uobx'fwolo Submarine

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Got a question to ask? Go to one of these sites.

Archie McPhee's Sarcastic Ball [Link] Buy one for $7.95 and always get a negative answer, just like asking for advice!

Joe's Magic 9 Ball [Link] That's right... Nine. Joe's afraid of Tyco suing him.

Fortune Balls from Outer Space [Link] Not a real 8 ball, but a fortune ball... go there and click on the fortune ball you feel the strongest spiritual connection to. Here's mine: "You will marry your prison penpal." Bah-HAHAHAHAH-*GASP* Oh no... that means...

The Infinitely Magic Ball [Link] It says "Prepare now, wanderer, to find the answers to your deepest mysteries, revealed in the plainest of English." Blah blah blah... It gives little random pearls of miswisdom. Ouch.

Magic Toddler 3 ball [Link] Turn your volume to about 50% and hear a toddler answer your question, when it's not holding it's breath or looking somewhere else.

Magic H8 Ball [Link] Nice answers.

Magic Infinity-ball [Link] Uh... it's pretty basic. But it's the first one I found that posted the letter from Tyco Toys, Inc. [Link] Harsh!

Okay, that's enough...

POSTSCRIPT: I found a "Magic 40 Ouncer" But the page is in a different language set and so take your chances [Link]. I also found a bunch of 8 balls that didn't work, but all these work as of... Christmas day, 2003.

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Finger Eleven's "One Thing"
How am I feeling? Why? I'm deep in thought because I'm reading up on paintball game types and all the rules and basically everything about paintball. I found out I have a crappy paintball gun. (or paintball "marker") Oh well, I'll have to learn the fine art of not getting shot first, before I get all serious about it. I'll post a pic of my marker later
Website Reco? Recommendations are above.

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On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. (duh!)

On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS. (How do they know it works?)

In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Makes sense...except these instructions we're IN THE BOX!)

In some countries (like some reserves i won't mention:), on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.

On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING. (Now THAT I'd like to see!)

On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (I'm not sure they know how to use regular soap.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert, printed on BOTTOM of the box - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Oops, too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to what... use in outer space?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts - INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm sure glad they cleared that up.)

On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)

On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy! *WAAAH*)

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Fear Factory's Burn, a remix of Flashpoint
How am I feeling? Why? I've been itching to shoot something (anything!) with my new paintball gun. It's the same kind my buddy shot me with earlier this week. He gave me a gun of my own as a christmas gift and I haven't loaded it up yet.
Website Reco? The Surrealist Compliment Generator [Link] I'm not so sure all of these are compliments... I had reloaded the page a dozen times and some of them were all sorts of indirectly derogatory... I think... I didn't understand some of them cuz I had nine drinks by the time I surfed there.

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CHRISTMAS!!

Illusions [8]

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Our Lady Peace's Made of Steel
How am I feeling? Why? I'm not sure how to explain it... I know: "AWWW how cute."
Website Reco? Nothing today.

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'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period
preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, And
throughout our place of residence,

Kinetic activity was not in evidence among the
possessors of this potential, including that
species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus.

Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward
edge of the woodburning caloric apparatus,

Pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an
imminent visitation from an eccentric
philanthropist among whose folkloric appelations
is the honorific title of St. Nicklaus ...

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Guns'N'Roses' Don't Cry
How am I feeling? Why? Sad, I have to stay at work and everyone else left already....
Website Reco? Strange Cosmos [Link] Can someone please buy me this candy dispenser? [Link] Thanks.

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I

Come, every frustum longs to be a cone,
And every vector dreams of matrices.
Hark to the gentle gradient of the breeze:
It whispers of a more ergodic zone.

II

Cancel me not -- for what then shall remain?
Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes,
A root or two, a torus and a node:
The inverse of my verse, a null domain.

(I could post these excerpts all freakin' day if I had the chance...)

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Amorphis' Planetary Misfortune
How am I feeling? Why? Defensive, I gotta leave for work in three minutes but I wanna stay home. *WAAAH!!*
Website Reco? Lowbrow.com [Link] Why not? I spend over a half hour a day there. I love it.

Illusions [7]

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I'm posting from my buddy's living room and he's fixing himself dinner in the kitchen (around the corner, out of my sight) and I hear him shooting at the wall in the upstairs stairwell.

I'm nervous now.

Someone come and protect me, we're on Front Street. I'm the native guy protecting his face while the white guy is maniacally laughing and Pointing a Purple Projectile-shooting Product of Pain-delivery. You can see us through the big window with burgundy blinds.

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My best friend bought a paintball gun.

Yeah...

so there's a welt on my ass about the size of a quarter now.

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If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would
be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call
you to say they had a nice time. Now you'll be be expected to throw
another party next year.

What you should do is throw the kind of party where your guest wake up
several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if they've
been indicted for anything. You want your guests to be so anxious to
avoid a recurrence of your party that they immediately start planning
parties of their own, a year in advance, just to prevent you from
having another one ...

If your party is successful, the police will knock on your door, unless
your party is very successful in which case they will lob tear gas
through your living room window. As host, your job is to make sure
that they don't arrest anybody. Or if they're dead set on arresting
someone, your job is to make sure it isn't you ...

My Usual Self-Questionnaire.
What's playing? Godsmack's Re-align
How am I feeling? Why? Okay... It's been a tough month but I think it's about over... My eldest brother got married, thus making me think about my own situation... Gruesome. What else? Not much that I really wanna tell, just that you people won't stop e-mailing me to post more stuff. Your wish is my command.
Website Reco? BZ Flag [Link] It's a first-person tank shoot-everything-that-moves game... I host network games sometimes and I get my butt kicked, but damn, is it ever fun!

Illusions [6]

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Aaah... lack of time and interest on my part has reduced my website to a cobwebsite.

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