Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence.

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I'm a Libra and here's my Karma Profile (As by Astrology.Com)

(comment: I hate that first line... immediately it says I'm whipped!)

Ruled by lovely Venus, Libra is all about sweetness and romance, art and beauty, balance and charm. As the Sign of the Scales, one of Libra's great concerns is justice and equality, but this Sign may be even more concerned with partnerships. Friendships and romance feed Libra's soul; a social butterfly (and always a delightful host), Libra hardly ever finds itself without a lover. Those born under its influence truly prefer togetherness to being alone and tend to feel distinctly uncomfortable when single. They even have a hard time when they simply find themselves on their own for an evening without companionship. This marks Libra's greatest Karmic task: To stop looking to others to fill the perceived empty parts of the soul. Librans truly believe they're better off with others' constant support and companionship, and in many ways they're right: Team efforts can often get much more done than an individual, and an evening out with friends can be more fun than spending it home alone. It's the driving need for support and reassurance behind the urge for companionship, however, that is Libra's puzzle to solve.

(comment: *AAAAAAH* wrong answer... I'm a social hermit and feel fine when alone, although being single most of the time really sucks. Social butterfly? well... okay. Hmm... I could be this way because I have all the support and reassurance I need in what I'm doing.)

Librans simply haven't learned or don't trust that their souls are complete as is. They don't need to rely on others for support; they have themselves. However, they often don't realize this and instead commit lots of energy to seeking and securing others' approval. The trouble is, seeking approval can actually be considered a procrastination device. It can certainly inhibit progress if the approval sought isn't found. As a Cardinal Sign, Libra has lots of energy to start new projects and get things going, but its commitment not to proceed until everyone is working together smoothly is unrealistic and may be the very thing that stops the project completely. Libra needs to realize that not everyone can, will or even should get along all the time; when dissenting opinions make tempers flare, Libra would do well to push ahead, even if that has to happen alone.

(comment: Rely on others for approval? Now why would I need to do that?)

Differences of opinion and arguments can be very difficult for diplomatic Libra to handle. When disagreements occur, Librans tend to react in several different ways: They might become indecisive, refusing to take a stand as that would be akin to taking sides. Alternatively, some Librans will use their natural charisma to try to charm others into "good behavior." This is fine to a point. Sometimes Librans take their yen for harmony so far they're willing to lie or manipulate just to keep things running smoothly. In the end, of course, this kind of behavior rarely pays off; in fact, it may only further upset that balance that Libra is trying so hard to find. But why place so much important on balance in the first place? It's impossible to make everyone happy and one could use up a lot of energy trying, and all in vain.

(comment: Yes, I admit sometimes I'm indecisive)

Libra must learn that keeping everyone happy isn't the most important thing in life. Furthermore, others' approval is fickle and not to be counted on; Libra would do well to realize that when getting too caught up in wanting to be liked by all. Libra can learn from Aries? brash approach to life about placing less importance on outside opinion. Libra can look to emotional Cancer to learn how to confront feelings, even when they're frightening or uncomfortable. And Capricorn can teach Libra the importance and success of hard work done solo, carried over the long-term.

(comment: I should have been a Capricorn... *sigh*)

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I took a weekend trip to Thunder Bay. I had a lot of fun and I feel it was a well-deserved break from work as I was getting rude to all my coworkers.

Anyway, I got to see some old friends and meet some new ones at fun and odd places (just the way I like it) But I was annoyed by a few things:
1) I don't know the bus routes anymore;(cabs are freakin exPENsive when you're going across town every time)
2) i got rained on my WAY too much;
3) and when I was staggering to my hotel from a dive bar called The Royalton (my favourite in The 'Bay) a weird gray cat followed me, stopped me and WINKED AT ME menacingly... I didn't sleep well at all... but then it could have been the alcohol.

I could tell you some bar and casino stories but that's just too expected. Okay, maybe one:
At an undisclosed bar whose only requirement of showing sobriety is that you conquer two long flights of stairs to get to the bar without killing yourself. I accepted a man's open challenge to the patrons. The challenge was to drink ten shots of various strengths and tastes. If the challenge is met, you get your beers paid by the challenger for the night otherwise you gotta pay up for the ten shots that you were supposed to drink. Everyone glanced at me when I walked in and asked "what's good tonight?" "The challenge," was the bartender's reply. I asked was it was and he explained it to me as I got the usual ribbing and name-calling that's expected from the regulars to out-of-towners.

And then I said "Free drinks for a night with an awesome start off? I'LL TRY IT!" I turned around and leaned back against the bar and surveyed everyone's surprised and gawking faces as I waited for the bartender to serve up my ten shots. I watched and listened to them as they commented on my bravery and openly wondered my stupidity. Was I going to make it through all ten without throwing up? Was I a hard drinker in disguise? Well, I've got a beer gut but I don't drink that often so I've got attributes for and against me. Even I didn't know if I was going to make it so I slapped a few tens on the counter, just in case.

The bartender asked for my name, "Dave," I told him, "Super Dave." He laughed and called me over to where he was as he lined them up in no particular order. Taking my three steps over I could just SMELL the odours emanating from the shot glasses. Some were strong, yeah... but some were weak too and I just ate a bag of chips on my way to the bar.

"And tonight's ten shot challenger is! Super Dave!" the bartender called out and everyone turned their attention to me. I leaned against the bar and looked down at the shots... there they were, ten little glasses of intoxicating fluids. Then I noticed a pail beside my feet and saw its stained bottom. Puke from past challengers, no doubt. I wondered if my bag of chips would end up in there with five or six of these shots in front of me. I lifted the first to my mouth and gulped it back slowly...

I shouldn't have done that.

I did another five or six quite quickly, having learned my lesson and took the seventh slow because I recognized it as my favourite shot: "Doctor Pepper." Then I hit the remaining glasses while everyone cheered or jeered me on. I slapped the last shot glass onto the bar and let out a *BURRRRRRP* directly at the bartender and asked for a jug of draft and a salt shaker as I was going to sit down with my cheerleaders at table number seven...

2 a.m. rolled up pretty quick while we all still had lots of beers in front of us (I took advantage of that challenge a little too much, hehe) so the owner let us stay there until around 4 a.m. (maybe 5 a.m.? It's kind of blurry) to finish up what we had, listen to music and dance a little bit before we all went our respective ways... but that's another story.

Bye for now...

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So I bought a recumbant bicycle over the weekend, eh?
Now only if I can stop eating like a trash compactor.

Dammit.

I figured I'll either go 5 minutes at a time or 5 kilometres or 20 minutes or 10 kilometres or whatever.... I just need to get my fat ass on that bike often to tip my energy intake and usage balance towards a deficit. I was on the bike as I was thinking about making this post. I should do that often. Maybe even take notes or brainstorm for stuff. Yeah...

Well, my two weight loss goals are crystal clear to me: Improve eating habits and get more active. Yay me! ERRRRR... I've been stuck at this stage for almost two years now... I need to get cracking cuz I'm running out of excuses. I need to improve myself alot. I need to renew my determination and dedication because I have the goals and I have the ways. I just need to get off my fat ass and DO IT.

I hope (I HOPE) it works because I would hate to have spent all this $$$ for nothing. NO NO NO that's a defeatist's/cynic's sentiments.... I WILL do it... I AM going to peel off this flabby gut and I WILL break past all my current barriers.

Hmm... I did 200 calories for my first sitting over about 19 minutes... that's a pretty good number I believe. But I know I can do better easily... I think 40 minutes will do much well.

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Damn, I'm glad all of this is web-based because my home computer is really frustrating me.
First, I was hit by a virus
Then I fought the virus
I lost to the virus.
I reinstalled my OS
I installed another OS out of curiosity
I fought with the other OS
I lost to the OS
I reinstalled my OS again.
I fought with my OS.
I lost to my OS
I started fighting with it again.
And again, dammit.
I think it's winning again.

TO BE CONTINUED....

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